| Chapter 9 |

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Rose cupped her hands around the flower in her hands. It was her namesake, but she felt no connection to the blooming flower of love. She had ruined everything that would have happened between her and Scorpius and she had no idea how to fix it. Did she even want to fix their relationship? Rose smiled to herself, her fingertips running over the smooth petals.

"Why are you saddened so, joyous blossom?" the smooth voice of the god of the dead interrupted her thoughts.

Looking up, her hazel eyes ran over the older god's body. He was tall and lanky, with high, inhuman cheek bones and oddly illuminated skin. His eyes were calm and dark brown. Protruding from his back, however, were a pair of glorious, shiny, obsidian colored wings. They ruffled in the light Underworld wind.

"Hello, Thanatos," she gave him a soft smile, "You're back."

"I am," and the god sat down next to her, curiosity glowing from his eyes. He asked again, "What has caused you to be so sad, Rose?"

She sighed, "Scorpius."

"What did he do?" his tone was strong and Rose could hear the hint of anger beneath it.

"More like what did I do," she scoffed and dropped the rose from her hands, her head replacing where the flower once was, "I'm such a little fool."

Thanatos placed a cool hand on her back, his touch going straight through her chlamys and to her skin, "What happened?"

Rose looked up at her friend, "I kissed him, Thanatos, and he kissed me back and he spoke such...," she tried to find the words to describe just what she felt when he spoke so low in her ear, but could not seem to find them.

"Pleasurable, honest, delightful?"

Rose nodded at Thanatos suggestions, "Yes and I don't know what came over me, but I had to leave. So I did and he was calling after me. I wanted to turn around and run back into his arms."

"Something is holding you back?"

Rose nodded again, "Yes."

"Would you like to hear what I think?" Thanatos smiled lightly in offering. Rose nodded once more, "Well, I think you are uncomfortable with the thought of finding a lover in a friend, a best friend. You and Scorpius have been inseparable since you two were born and it was only inevitable. I think, also, that you believe that you are not ready for a relationship, especially at the level that both of you desperately want from the other. Am I right?"

Rose just sighed, "I... guess so," and she buried her head in her hands once again, "I am just so terribly confused with what I am feeling and what I am supposed to feel."

Thanatos' cool hands slipped from her back and gently touched Rose's hands. She lifted her head to look at him and allowed him to hold her hand. He had a knowing smile on his unnatural face, "You're not supposed to feel certain emotions when it comes to love, my Rose. Each person feels various forms of it. Tell me, what do you feel?"

"Confusion, but clarity," Rose responded and then gave an exasperated sigh, looking down at the ground, "But I don't know what I'm feeling anymore, only that I must love him so terribly. I have had plenty of guy friends, you include, Thanatos, and I love you, but that is love of friendship and family. That I know, but this is different. He is different," Rose looked back up at the god of the dead, "Explain the pain in my chest, Thanatos, like some constrictor wrapping itself around my torso and squeezing till I scream. Explain, Thanatos, the wanting to hold him close to me and tell me that everything is alright when all I want to do is curl up in a corner and claw at my mind. Explain, my winged god, why every time I close my eyes, every damned waking hour of my day, I spend painting pictures of him on the back of my eyelids," Thanatos could literally feel the tension rise off her as she just spoke and let her feelings out, "And, in my mind, I see him all the time, clear as day and always smiling, eyes glistening like forbidden jewels," Rose clenched her hand around his, "Tell me, Thanatos, what do you see in my words?"

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⏰ Last updated: Jan 20, 2017 ⏰

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