Snape's Sorrow

Chapter 12

Snape fled into the forest, sensing a change occurring around him. This was the beginning. The war, the violence and, hopefully, the end. Clouds hung over the landscape, and it was eerily quiet. He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew that he had to stay close by to make sure Potter was safe, although he knew, in the end, it wasn’t going to matter. All of his hard work for Dumbledore as a spy were going to be wasted tonight. Snape didn’t even see the point in trying anymore. He still remembered the conversation he had with Dumbledore all those years ago. He remembered it like it was yesterday.

Snape opened the door to Dumbledore’s office, a grim look upon his face. He was growing tired of being a pawn in Dumbledore’s rather large game of chess. Who did he even think he was, messing around with other people’s lives?

            Snape stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, waiting for the headmaster to actually decide to show himself. Fawkes, looking as though he could go up in flames at any given moment, slept on his perch next to Dumbledore’s cluttered desk. Severus was never really fond of Fawkes and the Phoenix seemed to feel the same way.

            “Ah, Severus.” A familiar voice sounded from behind him, causing Snape to turn around and see Dumbledore walking towards him. “Please, take a seat. There is something we need to discuss.”

            Snape, reluctantly obeying orders, took a seat across from Dumbledore. Silence passed between them before the aging wizard in front of him decided to speak.

            “There is something I have known for a while, and suspect that you are beginning to realize this as well.” He said, fixing his half-mooned glasses on his face.

            Snape looked at Dumbledore as though he had gone mad. “I assure you, Albus, that I haven’t the slightest idea of what you are referring to.”

            “I think you do.” Dumbledore said, with a twinkle in his eye. “This is of absolute importance, Severus. If all else fails, this must be the thing that succeeds in order to end Voldemort. Do you understand?” Snape nodded. “The night that Lily Potter sacrificed herself for Harry, putting herself between the Killing Curse and the boy,” Snape flinched at this and tried his best to hold back the tears, “the curse rebounded back on Lord Voldemort himself, causing a part of his soul to break away and attach itself to the only living being in the room.”

            “The boy.” Snape said, his eyes widening when he realized what was going to have to occur.

            “I need you to tell Potter that the reason he can talk the snakes, the reason he can see into Voldemort’s mind, is due to the fact that a part of Lord Voldemort lives inside of him.” Dumbledore, now standing and pacing about the room said. “Voldemort cannot die while that part of him in Harry survives.”

            “Is Voldemort aware of this?” Snape questioned, still taking in the information.

            “I don’t believe so, no.” he answered, stopping his pacing in front of him.

            “So the boy…the boy must die?” Snape, his voice cracking at the end, asked.

            “And Voldemort is the only one who can do it. That is of up most importance.” Dumbledore said, confirming what Snape already knew in the back of his head.

            “But I thought we were protecting him for…” Snape paused, not wanting to say her name. “For Lily.”

            “We were protecting him so that he could gain the experience and knowledge to defeat Lord Voldemort. I assume he already suspects what must happen himself and I am positive that, when the time comes, Harry will do the right thing.” Dumbledore answered, as though they were merely discussing the weather.

            “So he was kept alive, just so he could die at the proper moment?” Snape, his voice full of outrage and disbelief, said. “You raised him like a pig for slaughter!”

            “Severus, how many people have you watched die during your Death Eater days?” Dumbledore, looking out on the lake, asked. Snape, now standing, remained silent, daring the old fool to say more.

            “You have used me like a pawn in some twisted game of chess!” Snape yelled.

            “And what do you mean by that, Severus?” Dumbledore, still looking out at the lake, questioned as though he didn’t already know.

            “I have done everything you have asked of me. I have both lied and spied, putting my life on the line, for you. Everything to keep Potter safe! Just to learn that all of my efforts are going to be put to waste? I can’t believe-”

            “Have you grown to care for the boy after all Severus?” Dumbledore asked, interrupting Snape and his ranting.

            “For him?” Snape, completely outraged now, yelled. “Expecto Patronum!’ A silver doe appeared from Snape’s wand, bounding across the room, on the walls, and over paintings, before disappearing into the air. Snape, still fuming, turned to face Dumbledore who, for once during this entire conversation, looked surprised.

            “After all this time?” Dumbledore asked, his eyes wide in shock.

            “Always.”

Snape’s eyes were blurry with the tears that were spilling out. What he had said had been true though. After all the time that passed, Snape sill loved Lily. He always had , and he always would. Until his dying breath.