Erik is NOT Dead (Phantom of the Opera one-shots)

Hurt (Song-Fic)

Author's Note:

Dear Readers,

WARNING: Character death, drug abuse, and suicide

I DO NOT OWN THIS SONG! Just getting that out there. This is a song fic based on "Hurt" as sung by Johnny Cash (I haven't listened to Nine Inch Nail's version). Please enjoy and review if you did! I'd love to know what ya'll think of my first sad one-shot.

sarahlet2999

P.S. I recommend listening to Cash's version while reading this.

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I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel

The blade of the knife slid so easily across his palm, the wound quickly filling and running with blood. A soft sigh escaped him, a smile teasing at his lips. He could still feel.

I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real

Closing his eyes, he drew his mind away from the madness within his own skull, focusing on the pain. The pounding and hot seepage grounding him in reality, stealing him away from his own insanity.

The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting

As the wound clotted, he pulled out his needle, brimming with morphine. Opening his eyes only long enough to slid the needle into a bulging vein, he closed them once more, feeling the sweet drug stinging and soothing as it saturated his blood supply.

Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

Why did memories die so hard? Why couldn't they leave like mortals did? Why did they always stay? Thoughts rushed on his brain and he grabbed another syringe, plunging it into his other arm, not caring it was too much.

What have I become
My sweetest friend

His mind drifted to Christine, those memories he didn't wish to die. What had he become? Were there levels to monsters? Had he been born on a higher level and descended closer to hell the longer he lived? What was he anymore? Had he ever been close to human?

Everyone I know goes away
In the end

Hallucinations of his mother, Giovanni, the gypsies, and more drifted by his seat. A scowl from his mother. A pitying smile from Giovanni. A cackle from the gypsies. Towards the end of the parade, Nadir walked, his jade eyes filled with disappointment. At the very end, danced Christine, whirling in the arms of her young man. She didn't even spare him a glance.

And you could have it all
My empire of dirt

His eyes were unable to tear away from her as he watched her, beautiful as a true angel. He would have given her everything. He would have given her the world. But, what was a world when offered by a monster?

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

She had been right to run. He would have hurt her. Everything is nothing when given by him. He couldn't have been the man he tried to make her believe he was. She was safer the farther away she was.

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair

His brain throbbed, the excess morphine ripping through his body. The hallucinations began to speak words he didn't care to hear. Repeatedly he told himself they weren't real. They taunted him. Such a fine liar he was.

Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair

His shattered mind swirled, thoughts lying in dark pieces in a glass room. Over and over, he tried to put them together, but they shattered more. The taunts grew. Christine danced.

Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear

Slowly, all feeling disappeared. The slit in his palm, the pain, faded. The hallucinations grew, drowning him in his past. Panic rose only to be forced away by lack of feeling. And, Christine danced.

You are someone else
I am still right here

Her blue eyes stared through him. The visions morphed. All the others vanished and only her and the boy remained. Her stomach grew before his very eyes before she dissolved. Only to reappear with a babe in her arms.

What have I become
My sweetest friend

Trembling fingers reached out to her but she didn't see him. The boy cooed over the child and Nadir appeared by his side, a mere shadow through which he could see one of his prison walls. The old man shook his head sadly and dissipated.

Everyone I know goes away
In the end

The others returned, whirling around him in a maddened circle, chanting nonsensical words. Through their teeming masses, he could see Christine and her boy walking away, slowly. Her feet were skipping. In an instant, everyone vanished. He was alone once more.

And you could have it all
My empire of dirt

Gasping violently as his lungs started to close, his mind grasped onto memories of Christine. Clutching his throat, he grabbed a final syringe and plunged it into the first arm, the sweet liquid kinder than any human.

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

Death called to him, called, keened. Yes, death herself wanted him. His mouth curved into a smile as she appeared in his room, standing in her dark garbs. Once safe in death's embrace, he could never hurt Christine. Everything he had was hers. I merely would have disappointed you as well, my sweetest friend.

If I could start again
A million miles away

As his vision darkened, as his blood slowed in his vessels, what little of his mind that remained drifted to thoughts of what it might have been to start again. Could he have been different? No, no, he couldn't. A smile haunting his face, breath ceased in his lungs. Blood froze. The morphine took another.

I would keep myself
I would find a way