Hexus

~32~ Repeal

[5:29PM, November 17, UTC +09:00]

"Would you just leave me alone and go get it yourself? You're pregnant, not disab-"

Yuriko stopped mid-sentence, rubbing her forehead. It's happening again. Another outburst, over a simple request to get something from the kitchen. She knew Ayame's feet were getting swollen at this point in the pregnancy, so the woman wasn't very keen on moving or doing any sort of work – not that Father would even allow it. She had mixed feelings about having a new child in the house, but that wasn't enough to be the cause of her recent explosions.

And if there was anything she had studied extensively, it was emotions.

Ever since she learned that she wasn't a complete human, she had made it her personal assignment to understand how exactly she differed from one. Based on careful introspection through daily experiences, she knew she was only capable of a fraction of emotional responses, and had since mapped out which ones applied. The passive and negative feelings were normal: apathy, sadness, withdrawal, introversion. Anything that involved excitement or energy was not in her nature: anger, aggression, spontaneity, elation. Unless she was with Sakaki, who channeled in this range of feelings, confusing as they were at her first experience. But she wasn't with him now. And she hadn't been for the past week.

So she knew it had to be something else. Something...unnatural.

She had done her best to ignore it, push it to the back of her mind, but it grew even more intrusive every day, causing her to regurgitate an uncomfortable mixture of negativity, aversion and excitement - Fear. But she had no idea what exactly she was supposed to be afraid of, and with it came irritation, because she really hated not understanding things. She had resisted every stray inexplicable impulse that came with it, from the numerous urges to lash out at things to the time she rose from sleep in the early hours of yesterday with the strong feeling that the Nigerian twins were in trouble. She was about to go look for them too, but none of it made sense and she wasn't going to let these emotional disruptions lead her to do something stupid.

She looked away from the TV, surprised to see her stepmother close to tears.

Something more stupid.

"I'm sorry," Yuriko said. "I didn't mean it."

Ayame struggled to her feet and left the living room. Yuriko tried to return to the show she was watching, but she couldn't concentrate for more than a few seconds. Guilt – that's what she had learned to recognize the uncomfortable feeling as – loomed in her mind. No doubt this exchange was going to reach Father, who would chastise her over being disrespectful and repeat the same tirade about how she not trying enough to accept Ayame as her new mother. As she got up to apologize, she also wondered whether the guilt was a genuine emotion or whether it had anything to do with this...thing that was giving her feelings she ordinarily shouldn't be capable of.

But I normally feel guilty.

I think.

She hissed and left the living room, going after the heavy footfalls moving up the stairs. She thought she heard the sound of sobbing, and when she reached the foot of the stairwell, she confirmed this on the Ayame's tear-streaked face. The woman was also an emotional mess, but from hormones, not some possible magical interference.

"I said I was sorry," Yuriko said.

"You didn't mean it," Ayame cried. "You never mean it. It's just something you say to get out of trouble."

Yuriko stared back, confused. Did she mess up the tone of the words? Or maybe it was her facial expression at the time. She did not have a mirror to confirm how she looked, but she tried to work the necessary muscles into a grimace, hoping she pulled off an apologetic look.