A Collection of Ruins

Chapter 20 - And Someone Lies Bleeding (Ellie)

Ellie

"Darlin," Ronan started, and I swung tired eyes to meet his cold ones, "I don't gotta be here". 

My hands reached up to free my hair from its ponytail, shaking it loose. "Sterilis can't afford to lose you, so yeah, you do."

"Sterilis sweetheart, or you?"

"I haven't needed you since I was sixteen Ronan, wanted? Yes. Needed ? No." 

He stepped up into my personal space. "No?"

"Ronan--" it was a breathed sob and he had come running. Panic turning his eyes wild he gripped my arms hard enough to bruise, checking over my unbroken skin. Looking past me to my father he swore softly.

"What do we do? What did I do?"

Was he serious? "No. You are here because we both know if you weren't you'd be on the other side of your fathers fist instead of harassing me in my own goddamn kitchen."

"Doesn't mean I had to be here specifically and you know it."

"Do I? Ronan, you ain't got anywhere else to go." I laughed but there was no mirth in it. Jesus how had we come to this? The man before me had gone from being the only boy I'd ever loved to the person who I needed too much to have. I couldn't jeopardise the mission, our plan, by letting our feelings muddle everything up. This wasn't going to be our love story. The gods had made sure of that.

"Plenty other beds I could be warming, in fact yours might be one of the only ones I haven't." His grin was cruel and he pushed forward another step.

"Don't worry, I haven't been lonely." I watched as his eyes flashed and his mouth morphed into a snarl.

"Matt?" 

I just smiled and stepped forward myself. If he wanted to play we could. I didn't think either of us would win. 

 Ronan shook his head. "Thanks for the place to crash kid." Turning he walked away, sauntering into the lounge room. 

 I called out after him. "You need to start seriously considering moving out." 

I got no response and I didn't expect one. Ronan had been caring for his father long as I could remember, his drunk daddy would drink himself to oblivion and hit his son and then his son would nurse his wounds while he picked up Adrian and put him to bed. I didn't know why he stayed, couldn't fathom it, sighing I went to go to bed myself when--

"Why? The house will be mine soon enough." 

I moved to stand in the door way to the kitchen and lounge-room."Is that it?" I asked. "Is that where all this hate is coming from?"

"Maybe," he murmured, "Maybe." 

I blinked back tears, the hurt coming out of nowhere like a sucker punch.

Ronan smirked slightly, "Don't cry on me now darlin', why need you tough awhile longer yet."

* * *

"We don't trust anyone. We take care of this ourselves." 

Ourselves? Was he mad?

"We need to tell someone Ronan - my father is dead." The word was ash coming out of my mouth, clogging my throat.

"People like Adrian will try and take advantage , we tell no one." I

 was panicking, my hands trembling and heart beating twice as fast."What-what about the shot? People will have heard it." 

Ronan swore low and harsh."We are going to pretend it was Adrian. He was drunk, sad, miserable bastard that he is, took a gun to his head. It fired when I wrestled it away from him".

"You'll ruin what's left of his reputation - for good, Ronan. Nobody comes back from a suicide attempt. Not here." To take your own life was an insult. We sought a beautiful death, delivered by a worthy opponent in battle or, as a last result, the battle against age. We did not take our own lives here, not in Sterilis. We'd condemn him, miserable bastard or not.

* * *

The knock was quiet when it sounded, steady. Santiago.

Ronan was alert and sitting up on the lounge when I passed him to reach the door. "You just gonna leave him out there all night?"

The metal was cold under my hand and the creak the door made sent a chill down my spine. I hated this door, hated it. I couldn't look at it without hearing the loud bang of it slamming against the wall in my head. The figure of my diseased father ambling through it.

"We should talk." Was all Santiago said.