My Personal Journal For Everyone to See.

Valentine's Eve

Some may say love is in the air,

others may say that their love never existed and maybe never will.

For me, tomorrow will be a depressing day.

Surrounded by those who love, who are loved, while me and my darling are separated by a barrier that is four hours of driving on dark highways.

I loathe those of you who have a proper valentine.

I remember my first valentine, in 3rd grade, a boy named Thomas Silverio. Back then, dear Thomas was shorter, chubbier, and quite adorable if I do say so myself. He was one of the coolest people out there, but he left after 3rd Grade, and came back in 6th.

Let me tell you, when he came back, he had lost all his weight, he had groen at LEAST three feet, and all the adorableness had left his face and was replaced by stunning good looks. He was handsome.

When he came back, all the girls loved him, but I could tell something had changed, he was no longer the sweet t-shirt and shorts wearing child I remembered, he was now a baggy-pants and basketball shoe wearing douchebag, but he still had some good left in him.

I suppose since I was the last girl he had the pleasure of being with at our school, he asked me to be his valentine again. I gladly accepted, I was honored even, with his presence. He brought me a card, and a teddy bear. I cherished that bear, I slept with it every night.

Then Middle school came, and thats when everything changed.

Thomas was now a high class douche. NO question about it. He never so much glanced at me. I would see him walking down the halls with his douche friends. I forgot about him, it was all I could do.

In the middle of Seventh grade, there was another guy, his name was Camrin Manning. I still dont think I've quite figured out exactly what happened between us. I would call him, we would go to the little park by the school, one time we were sitting on a bench together and he put his hand on my thigh. I would hug him, he would hug me back, and then Winter Vacation came.

Two weeks later when I came back, he didnt sit next to me on the bus that morning, he didnt answer my calls, he didnt ever come back to that little park. I overheard talking about a girl named Kimmy with his friend. That's when I knew it was over, whatever 'it' was.

After that was Jon Lucas.

He was one grade above me, and for some reason I was drawn to him, we would hang out at the bus stop after school with the asians, we would talk, I got his phone number, we would text, he came to my birthday party. He "forgot" my birthday present. I sort of told him I liked him one day when we were texting, he told me he liked this girl named Meaghan Randolph.

She was white and blonde.

We still hung out with all the others, we would all go to this one park that was a couple miles away. We had fun for awhile, but when seventh grade ended and he went to the highschool, we never talked again.

In eighth grade I didnt get involved in any relationships. I didnt think I could handle it to be honest. I had to deal with some bitch friends and their boy problems and I decided it wasnt worth the trouble.

So eighth grade was somewhat my safe year, until I found out I was moving.

I lived every to its fullest potential, everyday when Gabby and I went to Audrey's house after school t watch Doctor Who, I would try and make that day better than the last. I knew I was just trying to stall the inevitable, but you might as well try. The last couple of days were the worst. I knew what was coming, and I didnt want it to come.

Look at me, reminiscing.

I should stop.

So now back to my normal self I guess?

I just spent the last two hours making cupcakes.

Now I have to frost them.

oh joy.

I dont want tomorrow to come OTL

On the bright side I've been listening to my music out of my mom's iHome, so I've been blasting it through the house for the last two hours.

Revenge for the fried chicken thing I like to think.

Anyways i made chocolate and vanilla cupcakes this time, but the vanilla ones kinda taste like metal....

I'll make people I dont like eat the vanilla ones since they might be poisonous LOL.

Nah jk jk theyre safe.

or are they..........?

LOL

So yeah, gtg decorate a million cupcakes.

Bye doodz