My Personal Journal For Everyone to See.

I'll risk wrinkling my face just to smile.

Yeah ok we said some things

well, a lot of things

but seriously, what kind of person doesnt hate everyone at least a little bit.

I have never had a friend that i have truly truly liked

except for one.

and her name was Audrey Ayag

so unless you're her, you will always be my friend, but there will always be the things i dont like, my pet peeves, the faux pas idk thats just how it works.

I suggest you suck it up and we put this behind us, or you continue to wallow in your own self pity and make things a million times more awkward then they need to be.

I honestly would rather have us stay friends

you were one of my first here, and even if you do refuse to talk to me, you'll always have that little piece of friendship deep down inside of me somewhere.

I only knew you for a couple of months, but I could tell that you had changed, if not drastically.

idk I want to say I'm sorry except I can't because i honestly am not because I have never been truly sorry for anything bad I've ever done.

I know I may sound like the epitamy of lady-douche but I see things a little bit differently, and I have for awhile now.

I told myself I wouldnt be hurt by people, I wouldnt care what others said about me, or if people talked behind my back, because I know they did, because I did.

Everyone does

everyone will.

And if you choose to ignore the fact that most of the things I said I said out of stress and/or anger and that most of the time i exaggerated my feelings, blew em up a bit to make it a worthwhile post.

but yeah, if this is what you want and what you willingly accept, then I will respect your decision.

Just remember that I'm leaving this whole thing up to you, I wont be the one to make a move, or to come flailing back because I won't.

And every time I walk down the hall and maybe happen to pass by you, I'll risk wrinkling my face and I'll smile, just because I still see you as a friend, even if you dont see me as yours because of a few things that happened to slip out of my mouth and a couple more things I willingly agreed on but maybe personally didnt.

I'm always open, if you are willing to accept me back into the regular routine of your life then so be it. Just know that if you dont, I'll miss seeing you in the morning, I'll miss talking to you and passing notes in fifth period, I'll miss sharing music videos with you, and I'll miss us.

On the outside I may have no regrets, but on the inside maybe I do, maybe theyre building up inside of me and maybe they will continue to do so. But never on the outside. I wont let that happen simply for my sake.

If this is goodbye, then so be it.