Out of Ink | A Short Story

Aftershock

I don't know how long it's been. All I am know is that I woke up this morning. My eyes were dry and crusty, my pillow showing signs of what happened last night. I felt heavy, like a stone sinking to the bottom of a lake.

But I woke up. I was alive, and I was here. Ethan wasn't. Slowly, that realization buried in deep.

I didn't get out of bed. The sunlight that passed through the windows as it dimmed and brightened made me aware that time was passing me by.

I hate this world for moving on. And the more I lie here, staring at this old, white ceiling, the more I realize how incredibly much I hate this world. I hate my parents, and the party, and Alex, and that river, and myself. I hate all that has become of my life.

I hate this world.

Anger seeps into my skin, and I let it consume me. I let it burn through everything I am. Then I wait for it to pass, because anger like this never lasts long. When the wildfire finally stops, and I no longer want to scream and scream, I sit up.

I grab my phone, a stagnant calm setting in me. The peace that comes after a disaster has happened. I know what I have to do. There's exactly four rings before she finally picks up. "Hello?"

"Lilly," I say. "It's me."

"Nadia." She sounds guarded. "How are you?"

I open my mouth, about to say good. "I'm managing," I say.

"Why," she clears her throat, "why are you calling me?"

"I know. I know about everything. The party, Alex, the river, and —" My grip tightens. "I know about Ethan. I know he's dead."

Lilly is speechless. Static drones on and on in my ear as I wait for her reply. Long ago, I would have filled the silence with nervous chatter.

"Oh," she says, and the dam breaks loose.

" 'Oh'? Is that all you have to say?" My voice is frosty. "You knew. You knew the truth, and you didn't tell me you. You and your family and my family — you all lied to me. You let me believe that Ethan left, that he didn't lo — want me anymore." My head pounds.

"I'm sorry," Lilly cries out. "You have no idea how sorry I am."

"Why? Why the hell would you do that to me? These past few months have been ... the worst of my life." I'm trembling. "He was everything, Lilly. Tell me. Tell me why I didn't deserve to know that the one person I've ever loved was dead."

I hear her take a deep breath of resignation. You knew this day would come. "No," she says. "If I'm going to tell this right, I need to start at the beginning." I swallow hard. I nod, even though she can't see me.

"I'm the one who found you, Nadia," Lilly tells me. "When I couldn't find you or Ethan at the party, I freaked. I searched the whole forest, and I almost gave up. But then I saw blood on the bridge and a knife. I saw Alex. I looked down at the river ... I don't know what came over me. What minute I was standing in the woods, the next I was in the water, thinking that you and Ethan drowned or something.