Jongens (Boys) 2

Chapter 13: Jessica's Longing

I miss him.

It's three in the morning and the weather is cold. I'm on our balcony and I am contemplating whether he loved me or not. It's been three months since the last time we talked, and things doesn't end good that time. I can't move on and I confess that my life is a mess right now. Yes, I still love Sieger. I just miss how he held my hand, kissed my lips, and mesmerized by his bright blue eyes. I miss those afternoons that we spent in the snack bar and all of those things we did. I'm madly in love with him, for me he's the best man that I ever had.

My phone rang. I picked it up and Tom is calling me. I am wondering why he called me this time of the night. He speaks:

"Jessica, Are you alright?"
"Uhm, yes? Why did you ask?"
"I saw you a while back when I passed by your house. You didn't seem to notice me because you look so worried and you're staring blankly unto the sky."
"No , I just wanted to feel the breeze outside."
"Uhuh, is that so?"
"Uhm, yeah."
"So... can we see each other tomorrow?"

I paused for a while to think of it.

"Yes. Meet me at 2 pm tomorrow."
"Sure, where would you want to go?"
"It's up to you. Maybe take me to a place which is relaxing."
"Okay, see you tomorrow."

I really appreciate Tom for being there for me whenever I feel down. He's a really good friend to me. Actually, I like him but I'm afraid that things will get worse. I don't want to invest my feelings to people I'm not certain of, I don't want to get hurt again. But that's how love works, the deeper you fall in it the harder you get up from it when things doesn't work anymore. My struggle of getting out from this pit of darkness may end soon, and maybe in God's time I will see light again. Just let me heal.