Raw Emotions

Rantings

I'm angry
With everyone and my so called friends
With myself for trusting and falling again
for opening up and being torn apart
Vulnerable for everyone to attack
Being stabbed multiple times from every direction no time to react no time to heal
Being harassed from my so called friends
They hide behind a screen not showing who they are cyber bullies that's what they are
Message after message being torn apart picked at flaw after flaw
Telling me to die
Calling me worthless and a piece of trash
They don't know how much it hurts
Maybe that's their goal to break me down
At first it worked I was scared
Getting that first message the feeling of being watched at all times
Then realizing they were closer than I thought not knowing who to trust
Drifting apart from everyone become more of a loner than I already was isolating myself from everyone
Now a year of being harassed and hundreds of messages later over 60 numbers blocked dozens of graphic pictures nasty words and threats making life harder
It's hard to move forward when it's still going on I'm angry yes at them but also myself for letting it get to me
Letting all those words hurt me
Believing that maybe they are right
I know I'm stronger than that
But sometimes it's hard to ignore
To live life and pretend nothings wrong
Everyone says "don't listen to them and ignore them" but trust me it's hard
to let go of all the anger
I try to see the light at the end of the tunnel but sometimes I just see darkness and it scares me more than I'd like to admit
To myself or anyone else for that matter
I'm angry

for them reaching out to my friends.

my family, my mom

sending them me things i never wish to see

i'm tired of the harassment i wish it would end

the detectives cant do anything about it they say its child's play

how can bullying be child's play? no wonder why so many are dead.

they don't care one bit of the harm they cause with their words and their hatred.

I'm glad I have a best friend who helps me
Who supports me from where I stand
Who makes me realize there's people who love me
People who care
She stands beside me
And stops me in my rage
I'm lucky to have her by my side
Even if I don't always show it
I'm thankful to her even if she doesn't know it
Maybe I don't show it or maybe I'm just scared
Of loosing her maybe I've imagined her
And that scares me more than anything.