Mark of the Angels

Forgive and Forget

Emily's Pov.

~Flashback~

I leaned on the frame of my closet door as I aimlessly stared at the clothes I couldn't wear. I have been wearing tube tops all summer and folding my wings under my coat in the winter. They had grown considerably in the last several months. I used to be able to fit them under my clothes and just not turn my back towards anybody. I have been homeschooled since kindergarten, but now that I'm old enough, my uncle is sending me to high school.

I took long, weary glances at my clothes that spread over my mattress. These held memories, and more importantly, they held my freedom. When I wore these before, I didn't have to hide anything. I was free of secrets and of fear. But I had to change. I had to let go of normality and slip into this uncomfortable, strange, and quite frankly scary stage of my life. I knew things would never be the same again. I could never go back to the life I cherished so much.

I got scissors out of my desk drawer and sat on the edge of the bed. Pulling shirt after shirt, I cut and tore two holes down the length of the back, leaving only enough space so that the shirt wouldn't rip completely.

My heartbeat was pounding louder and louder with each second. Rip. I'm a freak. Rip. I'll never be normal. Rip. No one would ever love me for me. Rip. If anyone found out, they'd shun me. Rip. I'm a disgrace to the human race. Faster I continued, tearing at my clothes, breathing heavily. Rip. Freak. Rip. Disgrace. Rip. Abomination.

I fell to the floor in a heap of tears and overwhelming shame. I'm a monster. Who could ever see me as normal? Why do I even bother? They are bound to find out eventually. I'm nothing. Nothing but a bomb waiting to explode. They will run away with fear in their eyes at the sight of me. I will disgust them. I disgust myself.

How could I see myself as some angel? Someone pure and holy? I don't deserve wings. Wings belong to heavenly creatures. Not me. I am not an angel. I'm me. My tears soaked my shirt and shorts. I continued to cry. Horrible thoughts flew through my mind, whirling and crashing around, and I was unable to stop them. Finally, I closed my eyes, took deep breaths, and stood.

I changed into one of my newly created articles of clothing. My wings slid through the holes perfectly. Then I remembered. School. I pulled my back pack out of my closet and carefully cut two holes in it. I worked to shove my wings into the bag in a unnoticeable way, moving them to a rectangular shape. I went to my bathroom and looked in the mirror. I looked like a normal teenage girl who just went through a bad breakup. I sighed with relief. Maybe, just maybe this could work.

Emily's Pov.

~Present Time~

I stumbled to my bathroom to face an unruly site. My hair was knotted into one big rat's nest. The leftover makeup on my face was smeared to one side from tossing and turning all night. I quickly cleaned myself up, brushing my hair and pulling it into a messy bun. I washed my face and renewed my makeup. Sluggishly stepping around my horribly unclean room, I pulled on a hoodie and hopped into some jeggings. I shoved my feet in my dirty but reliable red converse and worked on folding my wings into my backpack. I snatched my keys from the bowl by the door and ran down the steps towards my royal beauty.

Shuffling to my seat, I managed to just avoid the tardy bell. Everyday was just like the one before. Classes, lunch, more classes. But what I wasn't expecting today was the new long term substitute teacher to be so, well, hot. He walked in as the bell rang. Sitting in the front row, I saw every move he made as he tried to situate himself. Finally, he took a breath, and he faced the class and stood up straight. I could feel myself being drawn to him immediately. I know no other girl in the class felt it. He was average to everyone else. Too old. The moment he found my eyes, I knew. He felt it too. "Hello class." He cleared his throat and tore his gaze from me. "My name is Mr. Cane. I will be your sub while your teacher is having surgery on his kidneys. Any questions?" His view surveyed the whole class, and eventually settled back on me. I couldn't shake this feeling of attraction. Never once could I keep from staring at him. Who was he? I felt his presence in my mind. A stranger that seemed so familiar. Before I could register my actions, my hand shot up in the air. His eyes lit up with what looked like surprise. "Yes Miss..." He awaited my introduction. "My name is Emily Craudwell. And...uh...will we be continuing our reading assignment or is that on hold till Mr. Tanner gets back?" My speech was shaky and I couldn't focus on what I was saying. He seemed to stumble on his words as well. "We will, Miss Craudwell. For today...I want everyone to pair up with a partner and...start on your analogy analysis for the story. Find the...the meaning behind the theme of the story." He finished with his eyes furiously staring at the ground. Was he purposefully doing that? Did I affect him that much? Since Corren wasn't in my hour, I knew nobody in my class. I knew nobody besides him. Everyone eventually found partners, leaving me awkwardly sitting alone, as there was an odd number of students in class. Mr. Cane had already sat down behind his desk and was shifting papers around. I gathered my mind and my courage and made my way to stand in front of his desk. Realizing my presence, he slowly lifted his head to meet my gaze. His hands tightened on the current object he was holding. Our eyes watched the others without faltering. "I don't have a partner, Mr. Cane." I said, pressing my fingertips on the edge of the desk. "Well, then. You'll just have to work with me, Miss Craudwell." He said with a half grin. "I'd prefer if you'd call me Emily, sir." I smiled sweetly at this odd substitute. He smiled back. "Alright, Emily, pull up a chair and let's see if we can't figure out this story." I did as he said. He began explaining things to me and all I could do was nod and smile. When we both realized no work was getting done, he started small talk. "So, Emily," something about how he said my name made me shiver "do you have many friends in this class?" I shook my head. "None. I don't have any friends at all, really." I said as a matter of fact-like. He frowned. "Now why would such a pretty girl have no friends? You must have some." His brows came together. I blushed, not meaning to. The heat in my cheeks was constant after that. "I have one, but he's more of an acquaintance and is an outsider like me. What about you? Are from around here?" I asked casually. "No. I just moved here and haven't really made an effort to get to know anyone." He cocked his head to the side. "It's a quiet place, isn't it? I mean, there isn't much city buzz. That's why I moved here. I needed a change of scenery." I smiled. I hadn't actually stopped smiling. "Did you find what you were looking for?" He sighed a little while a smile spread across his features. It was softer than before, full of wonder. "I didn't exactly know what I was looking for until I found it. And yes, I think I have found it. I don't know that I plan on leaving for a while now." There was that pull again. It was as though I could feel his soul. He seemed wise, yet his appearance suggested that he was in his late twenties. His eyes were a beautiful brown that shocked my dull mind back to life every time I reconnected with them. I could get lost in his deep chocolate orbs... The end of class bell interrupted my thoughts and ended our conversation. "Oh. That's the bell. We didn't get much accomplished. Would you like to come in at lunch to finish this, Emily?" I tore my mind from his beautiful eyes. "Yes. I would. Goodbye, Mr. Cane." I turned to leave the now empty classroom. "Oh, and Emily?" I whipped back around with a smile forming quickly. "Yes?" He returned the smile. "I know what you are."