Mark of the Angels

Reserved and Forsaken

Emily's Pov.

~Flashback~

I stared at the ceiling, waiting for something. Anything to make me distracted. I silently shuffled my fingers over each other, mindlessly. Thoughts crept into my head. Things I couldn't help but think about. My world was crashing down. The tears streamed from my eyes. The liquid diamond was enough to send me into hysterics. The more I cried, the harder it got to stop.

I couldn't bring myself to care. I couldn't will the emotions away. Here they were, eating at my very essence, waiting for me to break. So I did. I couldn't handle it anymore. The pain, the sorrow, all of it. It was too much. And all of this, was not enough. None of it would ever account for the lives lost. No matter how much I cried, they were gone. They were never coming back. My parents were gone, and nobody could explain why or how. I know they died, but now that they're gone, I just can't believe that they aren't around. I feel them everywhere.My aunt walked in to see my tear-stained face and a broken lamp. My knuckles were bloody and I was shaking.

I glanced in the mirror and saw a pale reflection. In that moment I saw all the pain I had endured. All the suffering I had yet to endure. I saw the emptiness of a child. I saw a broken heart and a broken soul. I knew I could not be mended. I didn't want to be. Nobody could fix me. And I wouldn't let them. I looked in the mirror and saw a reserved me. One who wouldn't let her walls down for anyone or anything. This was who I am. This is who I will always be. Reserved.

My aunt held me as I wept. My uncle's drunk shouts in the background, with anger and grief, I heard him smash something and kick something else. I would have to live with this for the rest of my life. My aunt held me tight as we waited for the demolition to be over. She told me to wait it out. Said it wasn't that bad. She said he was worth it.

I didn't see it. She can hope for her old husband back, but he was gone the minute the first beer met his lips.

I wrapped myself up in the covers and sighed. I knew it would be a long night. The only way I would get sleep was if I let me cry myself to sleep. So I did. And then the nightmares came. And since then, they've never stopped. My parents died and left me to wonder what I did to make them leave. I don't even know how they died. I just know that I'm all alone with nobody and nothing except Mr. Jellybeans, my stuffed bunny that my mom got me when I was five. I never let that thing out of my sight. It's weird, but I still sleep with it. It's the only thing I have left of them, besides the car. I tried to carry the weight of being an orphan, but I failed miserably.

Emily's Pov.

~Present Time~

I slowly turned up the gravel road towards the old cemetery. It was the six year anniversary of my parents death. I parked and grabbed the bouquet of flowers from the passenger seat. I walked towards the middle of the graveyard where my parents lied side-by-side. Reaching their graves, I knelt down and laid the lily-lavender mix in between their headstones. My mother adored the two flowers and my father loved their smell.

It was hard, knowing its been so long. I miss them just as much as I did six years ago. It's hard to believe I've survived this long without them around. I sat on my feet and just stared at the names engraved into stone. The names engraved on my heart. The tears came, and I didn't try to stop them. My heart ached. The hole where they had been held was gaping in my chest. I cried until I was dry. I don't know how long that was, though. Finally, gathering the courage, I pushed myself off the ground. I stood there for a little longer, then turned away, walking past my parents and stepping past many others. I went off, looking away from the cemetery where my parents rest.

I had kept the tradition of visiting them everyday for a whole week each year. They had disappeared on a Tuesday and they're bodies were found the next one. So as anyone might guess, Tuesdays are my least "favorite" day of the week. I drove to school with a cold, weak feeling in my bones. As the day began, I could tell I would be grumpy today. Really grumpy. I hate Tuesdays. So naturally, I walked into school early, with a scowl on my face. I headed straight for the library to waste a little time. The sun had come up more and was filtering through the windows, giving the books a golden affect. It was a peaceful sight, but all too soon reminded me of the day my parents passed away.

I plopped onto a comfy chair and tried to ease my mind with a random novel. I opened it up to the middle and began reading. It was about some chick with a vampire boyfriend. What in the world is this? I scrunched up my nose as I kept going. I couldn't take it anymore. I closed it and threw it over my shoulder, classifying it as trash. I sighed and went searching for something interesting and delightful. I soon found myself once again in the mystical creatures section. I couldn't help my hunger to find out what I was. What was wrong with me. I skimmed through the books, with a finger brushing each one, always stopping at the same book. It read: "Angels and Demons." I quickly snatched my finger back towards myself, afraid of the terrors that book might contain. I decided I didn't want to know that badly anymore. The truth could be terrifying, and I was afraid of what I might learn about myself.

I took a deep breath and tore my eyes from the shelves of stories and adventures that so graciously caught my attention. How long would it be before I let the desire to know take me over? How long before I discover something I would regret? I didn't want to do that to myself. I shuffled to my bag and heaved it onto my back. It was time to start a day that I wanted so badly to miss. I don't know how strong I am. I don't know if I can handle the pain and grief this day will show me.

Lunch time came and I strolled back to my usual den of comfort. The library had only a few people in it, so I set up camp on one of the more secluded chairs. Truth be told, it wasn't a horrible day so far, but I knew there would be something to send me over the edge. There always is. I laid down my belongings and a temptation crept into my mind. Surely, whatever that book held couldn't be worse than the things I already know. How bad could it be? As soon as the thought occurred, I knew I was doomed. I wanted to get it over with, though. The curiosity was killing me.

I pulled out the book and turned to the first page. I read about two-thirds of the book till I got to a chapter of my interest. "Half Angels," it read. I scanned it, and then read word for word. I came across a sentence. A single sentence that made me sick. Not about the powers we had. Not about the way we were created. Not that half angels, half humans were very rare and unique. A sentence that made me visibly pale. "Half angels are dangerous creatures and were considered evil, then forsaken by all of humanity." It went on, "The legend carried on throughout history, and to this day are considered an abomination." Those were the concluding sentences of the chapter. I didn't care how the book ended. I had all I needed to know. I was dangerous. I was scared. Most of all, I was in pain. Yet the two prominent qualities I could pick out about me were, I was reserved and forsaken. I'm an abomination and I can't do anything to change it.

~A/N~

Sorry for the filler chapter. But you're getting to see more of her past and more about her angel-ness! So a big thumbs up and I would love your feedback!! Love y'all!! <3