If Not For You

Chapter 8

Ben stood there motionless facing the liquor cabinet.  April behind him was saying something.  He didn’t even turn to her to try to explain he just walked out of the room and back into the party, looking for Jenna.  He spotted her with Lena and Jax and Ben walked right up to them. ”Can we talk a minute please.”  He asked Jenna.  He already had a response racing around in his head ready for her initial rejection.  To his surprise she reached out her hand and he put it in his and led her into the laundry room where it was quiet. 

                She stood there quietly looking up at him.  He had a loss for words, everything he thought of to say was in defense to anything she would open with. But she hasn’t said a word, Ben didn’t know where to begin this conversation.  “Look what you saw wasn’t what it looked like.”  He started.  “I know you think that I am the scum of the earth but she came on to me.  Really.  I didn’t do anything.”  He stood there waiting for her to say something but nothing came.  “Say something please.  Do you believe me?”

                Jenna looked at him and opened her mouth.  “I guess I believe you.  I mean as far as I know you haven’t lied to me yet.  I just have one question.  How many times have you slept with that girl?”

                Ben couldn’t respond to that.  She had a way of always being a step ahead.  She truly knew how to drive her point home.  He just looked at her, disappointed in himself that all those sexual experiences that he had through the  years that meant nothing, could now be what prevents him from having what he had always wanted but never thought he would find.  “I’m going to take that as a more than twice.”  Jenna turned around and pulled the door open towards her.  Ben reached above her head for the door and pushed it shut.  He let his hand fall down next to her shoulders boxing her between him and the wall. 

“Please just stop and listen to me.  I am not that guy.  Why don’t you believe me?  I like you.  I want to be with you.  I don’t get it.  You’ll look past Killer’s reputation and give him a shot but why not me?”  Ben looked in her eyes, hovering inches above her face.

“I don’t believe you because your actions contradict your words.  And actions speak louder than words, Benny.  You say I’m giving Killer a shot, a shot at what?  He hasn’t tried anything with me.  We just talk.  We have never done anything more than talk.  You on the other hand try to pounce on me every time you see me.”  Ben smiled at that response.

“What’s wrong with pouncing, it’s very PG.  There is a lot of pouncing in the Lion King.  That’s a rated G, fun for the whole family movie.  I told you before I liked you.  I just want you to be with me, nobody else just me.”  With that he dipped his head down and kissed her.   He pulled her body close to his and kept kissing her.  After a few minutes of their innocent kissing Jenna took his lip in her mouth and started to suck on it.  She moved her hands from where she had put them around his neck and grabbed onto his hair pulling his head back while she bit his bottom lip. 

                Ben’s whole body felt as though it were on fire and he grabbed her legs and wrapped them around his waist.  He pressed her up against the door and kept kissing her.  Even though he wanted to, he didn’t try to do anything else.  He could kiss her forever.  He wanted to show her that he cared about her for real and it wasn’t all just an act.  She lowered her hands one on each of his hips and pushed them back, placing her feet back on the ground.   She bit his lip again and pulled his hair, getting him to take a step back from the door all at the same time.  She seemed to know that it was getting a rise out of him.  “You want to be with me?”  She asked.  “Only me?”   Ben nodded his head yes.  He wasn’t even able to get the words out.  “It’s good to want something.”  Is all she said as she opened the door and left Ben standing in an empty room.