Loving Olivia

Chapter 28 - I Can't Lose You

Nico

The door locks shut to Olivia's room, and this instant dread takes over me. She's never shut me out like this before, not even in her worst days after her father passed away.

Like a moth drawn to flame, I start walking towards her room. She needs to let me in. I'll beg her if I have to.

My arm is suddenly yanked behind me, reminding me that the door isn't my only barrier to get to her. I try to break free but he already has a good hold on me, especially since he's managed to pin my arm behind my back. "Ruiz, let me go if you know what's good for you."

He tightens his grip on me and shoves me against the wall. I fight him off and manage to elbow him in the stomach with my free arm. Just when I think I have the upper hand, he knocks me to my feet and has me in a locking position against the floor. Dammit, he's much stronger than I remember.

"I'm not going to fight you, Nico. Calm the fuck down."

It's not lost on me that it's the first time he's ever addressed me by my first name, and it takes me a while to understand the full impact of it and what it might mean.

"You're going to scare her. Is that what you want?" he asks when I don't say anything.

I shake my head since I'm still recovering from all the air that's just left my lungs and the last remaining man point I thought I might still have.

"Good. Now get the fuck out like I told you to," he says, releasing me.

I stand up slowly, swallowing my dignity, thinking this day could not get any worse. The way I see it, even if I do try to fight my way to her door, I lose. I lose because this is precisely what Olivia wanted to avoid. I lose because I'm out of my freaking mind right now.

"I can't lose her," I whisper under my breath.

I leave the apartment, making my best effort to not slam the door on my way out. I'm waiting for the elevator when the door opens and closes behind me.

"Nico, wait a minute."

"I have nothing to say to you, Andres," I say without turning.

"I know you don't want to listen to me. I wouldn't want to listen to you either, but I'm trying to help you. Olivia loves you, man. She really does. As much as I hate to admit it, you're good for her. And I know you love her too. I don't know if you ever loved Ana, but I'm never going to apologize for that because you sure as hell never looked at her the same way you look at Olivia. So don't fuck this up."

I nod in acknowledgement before I step into the elevator. I know I should probably feel some type of redemption that I finally got his approval, but I don't. It won't mean anything if she leaves. It won't matter if she leaves me.

My phone dings in my pocket right as I get to my car. My heart leaps in my chest, thinking it's Olivia, but when I check it's a Candy Crush Saga request from some chick I don't even know.

Fuck you, Candy Crush!

I've never played that stupid game in my life. I furiously throw my phone against the sidewalk and don't even feel any satisfaction as it shatters on the ground.

I don't bother picking up what's left of it. It's useless. I huff as I get in my car and drive for what seems like hours. I don't even know where I'm going. I just keep turning left or right, and it always leads to some other road. I wish Olivia was here to tell which way to go, just like she did with her dad when she was younger.

I think about Olivia. I think about how curious she was when she asked Sofia what it was like to study in the United States. I could see the sorrow in her eyes when she told us she decided not to go, even if she didn't want to admit it. How can I ask her to stay after that? I can't. I would never forgive myself.