Chapter 5
He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
Friedrich Nietzsche
He prepared our dinner. Hindi niya ako pinagawa ng kahit ano. He told me to just sit down and watch him do his wonders. Yun ang eksaktong sinabi niya. So I did what I was told. I watched him go about my kitchen na parang gamay na gamay na niya.
He looked so cozy in my kitchen na feeling ko pag umalis siya mamimiss siya ng kitchen ko.
"You are so neat and so organized. No one would be lost in you kitchen. Everything is inplace and everything has a label." Sabi pa niya habang binubuksan ang isang cabinet na may label na 'condiments' and took the jar that was labled 'salt'. OO ganyan ako ka organize.
He finished preparing the dinner in no time. This time I insist, that I prepare the table. Nakakabagot din naman na maupo lang. Inihain na niya ang pagkain pagkatapos ko iprepare ang table.
"Aren't you lonely here? You don't have a housemate right?" It sounded more like a confirmation than a question.
"I was used to being alone that having a housemate feels strange." He just chuckled at what i said tapos tiningnan ako. I choose not look at him. Ayokong malunod sa mga mata niya. It's dangerous.
"That wall" He pointed sa wall sa may dining area. "It needs a painting. Something that would livin' it up justa little. It's too bland." Napatingin naman ako sa wall na sinabi niya. Dati naman wala lang sa akin yun. Ni hindi ko nga napapansin.
"You should put fresh flowers here." He pointed sa gitna ng dining table.
"And you need to put windows on your kitchen so that light will come in. It doesn't only saves energy, It gives out a positive energy." Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. What is he trying to do?
"Why are you saying all those things?" Kung alam ko lang na pipintasan niya ang apartment ko eh di sana hindi ko na lang siya pinapunta dito.
" You have to do all those things. They badly need your attention. That's why you can't just give up. Those things rely on you. Their life depends on you." Napanganga na lang ako sa sinabi niya. Here he is again, teaching me about life. urging to to move on.
"Its not as easy as it seems John." Yumuko na ako sa plato ko kasi naninikip na naman ang dibdib ko.
"Why?"
"I lost the only the only thing that he'd left. I lost our baby the day he died." Mahinang mahina ang pagkakasabi ko nun. Unti unti na ding nabubuo ang mga luha ko sa mata. Napatulala siya sa akin. Pero nagulat ako nung tingnan ko siya parang naluluha din siya. He brushed it off suddenly and smiled faintly.
"I'm very sorry to hear that." Napangiti lang ako ng tipid. Its a miracle that I was now able to control my emotion at hindi na ako humagulgol.
At dahil naging awkward na din ang situation, we ate and finished our dinner in silence. Hindi ako makapaniwalang may kasama ako ngayong magdinner. Who would have thought that I would allow a complete stranger to dine at my house with me.
Am I starting to move on?
Kaya ko na bang kalimutan ang lahat?
That question bothered me at hanggang nung umalis siya, iniisip ko pa din dun.
Author's note:
Short update lang po. Sorry. Wala lang ako sa mood magsulat ngayon.
