Until the Screaming is Gone (On hold)

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Zack gently rubbed Ana’s back as her tears began to dry up. He had taken her up to her room and they were now sitting on her bed. “What was on that paper?” he asked softly, he thought she might be ready to talk about it.

“A reporter from the Carolinas cornered me at the diner.” Ana said hesitantly, her face still buried against his chest.

They were in Texas, whoever the reporter was traveled a long distance to try to talk to her. “About what?” he voiced.

She was quiet for the longest time, he was sure she wouldn’t answer and he decided not to push it. He held on to her and offered all the comfort he could. He wished there was something he could do to make her feel better, to take away all that sadness on her shoulders.

After about ten minutes she sat up and looked at him, her hazel eyes were red and puffy from all the crying. Eye contact wasn’t something she was all that comfortable with even after all these days. She glanced away. “Jackie read the article, she’ll probably tell you anyway. My family was killed when I was eight.” She abruptly stood and left the room.

Ana didn’t want to run into Jackie so she skipped the kitchen and went out the front door. She couldn’t breathe inside the house. It was nice to be in Zack’s arms but then she reminded herself it wasn’t safe for either of them to get close.

She walked down the porch steps and continued down the sidewalk. She felt numb and cold as she walked. Everyday she felt like a shell of a human being, now she wasn’t even a shell. She was…nothing. A weak nothing.

She regretted running from that reporter instead of standing strong and telling him to butt out of her life. She didn’t want to be reminded of all her mistakes and past traumas, the nightmares were enough of a reminder.

She took a few turns just in case Jackie or Zack decided to come looking for her. Right now she needed to be alone. Tomorrow she had a session with Dr. Henderson and would hate to have to talk about this mess. She had to shove her emotions down and keep her face neutral. Hopefully this walk would help her do that.

“Hey Ana!”

She stopped cold and realized it wasn’t Jackie or Zack’s voice. She looked up and to the left, Jase was standing on a porch watching her as she was about to walk past the house.

“What are you doing around here?” he asked, jogging down the three porch steps to stand in front of her.

Ana mentally swore, she didn’t want Jase to pick on her right now. Her mood was low enough. “Taking a walk.”

“Do you live around here?”

He was being pleasant enough, Ana would rather he stay that way so she answered his questions. “Yes, the brownstone a few streets over.” She wasn’t entirely sure how far she had walked.

“Are you crying?”

“No.” Ana said quickly and tightly.

Jase was stubborn all of the time and having her being short with him only added to it. “You were crying.” he stated, slightly daring her to deny it.

“Whatever I have to go.” She shrugged and turned back down the way she came from.

“Hold on.” His hand closed around her wrist. “Come in with me.” he didn’t ask, he stated and demanded when he wanted something. He was an obnoxious jerk that way.

Again Ana didn’t want to fight so she went with him, on one hand it’d give her a moment to hide out. “Why are you trying to be nice to me?” she asked, her eyes taking in the simple living room. The walls were white and the furniture was mismatched.

“I’m being nice?” he sounded amused.

“Then what are you doing?” she crossed her arms protectively over her waist.

“I don’t know. We never talk at work, you’re always spacing out and being weird. Now you’re talking to me and you’re not such a weirdo.” Jase explained and it almost sounded nice except he didn’t know how to be nice.

“Ok.” Ana really didn’t know how to respond to that. “Do you live alone?”

“Yup my very own bachelors pad. You guessed huh?” he chuckled as he looked at his own space with a different perspective.

She nodded solemnly before glancing his way. “I should get back home.”

“Are you sure you want to do that? I know you won’t admit it but you’ve been crying and while we never get along you can hang out a little while longer.”  Now that was actually nice.

Ana didn’t know what to think about him. She had lumped Jase in with all the other people who teased and hurt her but those people had never tried to help like Jase was doing now. “Why don’t we get along?”

“I guess it’s a combination of things.” He walked over to the couch and sat, he asked her to do the same and wouldn’t continue explaining until she did. “At first I thought you were really cute and you were just quiet around me as a brush off but then I realized you were like that with everyone and it’s pretty annoying.”

Ana was sure this was some alternate universe she dreamt up to run away from her problems. Nothing he said made sense. “You liked me but now you don’t because my mannerisms annoy you? I thought you were a jerk and it seems I’m right.” She began to wonder if it was possible to have a mental break and still be functional. She was able to walk, talk, and do all her normal activities but she must have lost her mind to still be sitting here after everything he’s said.

“That’s what I mean. Most girls would be harping about the fact I thought they were cute.”

“I’m not most girls I could care less what you think because it’s all superficial.” She stood. “Thanks for the talk.” She was quickly out of there. 

She was scared to go back home because both Jackie and Zack knew about her tragic past. She didn’t want them to feel sorry for her, more than they already did that was. She needed to figure this out. The brownstone was her home and as much as she had thought about leaving she wasn’t ready to yet. She wanted to keep this slice of normal life for as long as possible. She hated the reporter who decided to interrupt her life.

She hated being known at the sole survivor of her family’s massacre. It was disgusting how people wanted to sensationalize that.

As she had learned well in life; sometimes there was nothing left to do but face the situation you wanted to run from. She walked back to the brownstone and went inside. She knew even if Jackie and Zack felt sorry for her they still cared and right now she could use some of that.

Zack was seated in the living room; he got up when he saw her. “Are you hungry? Grams just reheated all the food.” he was a good friend.

Ana was grateful he wasn’t trying to push the big elephant in the room and ask about her family. She offered up the best smile she could and said “Sure.”