Insane Asylum | | |Bård & Vegard Ylvisåker| | |

Please sign these.

Finally it was the day! I had been looking forward for this for weeks now! Even Vegard was excited for this adventure, and we were driving to the asylum with excitement like a children in a candy shop. We had won, correction, I had won the competition three weeks ago. But they chose this date, 6th December, because that was the date this asylum got opened.

"Bård," Vegard said with fear in his voice, "did you see that?"

"See what?" I asked, this place was miles away from any place that was inhabited.

"That woman in the white sundress?" he answered, "and her fucking face, I swear to god!" 

"Vegard, this place hasn't been inhabited since the 15th century". He needs to stop watching all those movies, because he obviously can't tell- whoa what the fuck is that? I swear to god, that looked like a woman, actually it was a woman, but her fucking face! It looked like someone had carved her mouth in a way that made her look like she would smile forever, and where her eyes were supposed to be, were only two red scratched holes, and she was wearing a white summer dress. 

Haha, it was probably the contest holder's crew who were fucking with us. I can't believe that for a moment I thought that she was real. Nobody would be able to survive with a face like that, maybe in the creepypasta world, but not here. 

"Did you see that then Mr. this place hasn't been inhabited since the 15th century?"

"Yes and It's probably just someone from the contest holder's crew."

"Are you serious? She looked like she was a patien!t"

"Vegard."

"Yes?"

"That's the fucking point, they're trying to scare us and judging by your reactions, they have succeeded."

Brothers are so stupid, I don't understand.

After half an hour we were finally there, and we were greeted by a lovely woman. She was beautiful, almost like she was taken out of a fairy tale. "You know that idea with scaring us by dressing up like a patient was brilliant." I told the woman, who I learned was called Stephanie. Her eyes got wide when I said it. She excused herself and entered the tent that had been set up for the occasion.

~ 3rd person ~

"They saw one," Stephanie said as she entered the tent. "They fucking saw one of them". 

"Stephanie, Calm down!" the man said. He was old with very dark eyes and white hair. His beard was whiter than his hair. He had been born the year the asylum shut down, and was famous for holding contests that only the brave ones dared to enter.

"How can I fucking stay calm when they fucking saw one! HOW ARE WE GOING TO BE ABLE TO GO HOME?" She was freaking out, her lovely hazel brown hair that was so tidy a minute ago was a mess. Who wouldn't be freaking out in a moment like this? "YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THEY CAN DO TO OUR CARS MR JAMES!"Her lovely ocean blue eyes were filled with fear. Which nobody would blame her for, because honestly I could order them to harm these people. Being the owner of these relentless souls is so much fun and people fear you. Which I love. 

"STEPHANIE CALM DOWN!" Mr. James almost yelled. She calmed down for a little, but I know that under her skin she would just want to leave this place and quit this job. 

"Hand them the papers and tell them that they have to sign them," He handed her some papers.

"These are in Latin!" she said "They will never understand them!" 

"Well, that's the point! They will ask you what they mean and then you'll say that if anything happen to their health, physically and mentally, they can't sue us."

"You better pay me twice as much as you already do for this," she said and went out.

~Bård's POV~

　

Stephanie came back from the tent, we had heard shouting, but being nice people, we decided to not listen to them, because what if they got disqualified because of overhearing something like that? "So I want you two to sign some papers, if you don't sign them we can't allow you to enter the asylum."

(I used google translate for this part soooo if its wrong im sorry, but I don't understand latin ok dont judge)

"Culpa sui nocuit nisi lectus corpore vel mente non licet mihi ad satis dolor in re, et non salutem petendam crudeliter occidere me post me, etiam si," (If I get harmed physically or mentally its my fault even though its in reality the company's fault, for not giving me enough survival things, I won't sue them even if they come after me and brutally kill me) I said looking at Stephanie, probably in the worst accent ever in whatever language this is. 

"It's Latin, and it means that if anything happens to you in the asylum you can't sue us," she said with a smile.

"And 'Quid tibi melius est mortuus'?" (you better die) I asked. 

She sighed with annoyance and said, "We hope you don't get hurt in any way." "What about 'Signans charta, ut mihi in loco hoc ipsum probo, quod maxime notum est in mundo, et satanas permittunt forma dare animam corpori satanas animas damnatorum, capti ad unum inter mundi inferis'?" (By signing this paper, I allow this company to send me in the place that is known to be the most satanic place in the world and I allow them to give my soul to Satan and my physical form to one of the lost souls that are trapped between the underworld and this world.) Vegard asked.

"Just sign the papers please" she said, we had clearly gotten on all of her nerves. We signed the papers.

But now I wish I hadn't signed.

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in case yall dont get it

i dont speak latin

i want to speak latin

but i cant even handle german how will i handle latin