Perfectly Imperfect ➳ Ziam AU

Chapter 29

M’kay, I’m really sorry this was late, but if you read my most recent broadcast, you’ll know I’m having a few personal issues that will be kept private, and I hope you will respect and accept that, and know that I am sorry, but at least there’s still updates, right? And hey, like, yeah, I’m not being bratty but we can do better than nine or ten comments, can’t we? What’s up guys? I want more on this, pretty please? c:

Yeah, so, I love you all, and thanks a lot if you did comment anyway. Enjoy this while it lasts, yeah? Three chapters and the epilogue left. xoxox

[Zayn]

 

It wasn’t the clique waking up that you read about in teen age romance fictions. The bed wasn’t soft and the sheets weren’t crisp and white, and the room wasn’t spotless, gleaming, like it was made to be in heaven.

I woke up to the sound of sniffling and light sobbing. My head pounded as blood pumped through my veins, my body aching and my eyes sore from crying. My back was starting to hurt from the uncomfortable position I had been laid in, and the sheets around me had some slight blood stains on it. The room felt tight and boggy, tension chocking me.

At my slight movement to get in a better and more comfortable position, the crying died down and I looked up, across the double bed to see Liam sat on the edge, eyes red and wide, his cheeks slightly stained, and my heart strings were plucked at as I realised he had been crying.

Liam never cried. He was the strong one, the one who held us both up, with a smile on his face, always. He held everyone else up around him, too. He was a wall, and he was always there for people to lean on and as a support. He was there at the end of the day when I wanted to cry and break down, when I wanted to die. He was always there; his arms always open for me to fall into. Liam was my wall, Liam was my reality; my sanity.

“Liam,” I whispered, my voice rough and rasped like I had been screaming, and I suddenly realised it hurt to swallow. “Liam, what’s wrong?”

He flinched at how broken and roughed my voice sounded, and sat up a little straighter. He didn’t speak, as his eyes bored into mine, searching deep into my soul and tainting my innards, making me quiver with the want to know what he wanted, what he was looking at.

“Liam,” I almost whined, squinting my eyes at him and tilting my head to the side as I whimpered in fear, why wasn’t he talking?

He sighed softly at the sound coming from my lips, lowering his eyes to the sheets. I sat on the edge of my seat, not literally, waiting for something to happen, for Liam to do something, because this was weird, Liam never did this, he always spoke first, and he always took the lead and was strong. I didn’t know what to do; I felt weak.

“There’s nothing wrong, Zayn.” He told me, glancing up to my face for a moment. “Nothing’s wrong with me, at least.” He said, as an afterthought, and I cringed slightly at that.

“Well what’s wrong with me, Liam?” I rasped, lowering my gaze to the sheets and sinking back into the bed, feeling even more useless now. My heart thumped miserably in my chest, pains tightening from my core to my heart.

Liam smiled; a soft, sad smile that daintily placed on his lips, his eyes sheen with tears as he gazed at me, shaking his head and taking a deep breath. He sighed deeply, right from the pit of his stomach, “Look—I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. There’s nothing wrong with either of us, Zayn, I just—I can’t believe this.” He told me, running a distressed hand through his brown locks of hair.

“What?” I whispered, tears brimming in my eyes as I stared accusingly across at Liam, swallowing back a lump, thick in my throat, “That I’m such a failure, such a fuck up that I’d resort to going back to slitting my wrists again? You know I’m not like you, Liam! I can’t fucking help it, it’s my last resort, and I needed it when no one was there to help!” I cried, an angry tear spurting from my eye and down my cheek in a single, lonely track.