Epilogue:

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I never knew how to tie a tie. It was never something I knew how to do. My dad had never taught me how, not before he left anyway. I stared at myself in my bathroom mirror, staring at this stupid tie that wasn't tied and was just hanging around my neck, under the collar of my shirt, and suddenly the feeling of a crushing sadness fell on my shoulders, but instead of fearing it, I welcomed it as an old friend.

            I was used to the feeling. Everything After had sculpted me into something harder than stone and diamond.

            "Hurry up, Tate. We're going to be late!" Mom yelled up the stairs.

            I frown and rip the tie from around my neck, tossing it onto the counter. I remembered wearing this outfit to Prom—white dress shirt and black vest and black slacks and my Converse.

            I remembered the look she gave me, like I was something beautiful and precious and worth looking at. I remembered that I gave her the same look.

            I took a shaky breath and looked from my chest to the face staring back at me in the mirror. It looked horrible; sleep was a friend that scarcely visited. My dreams were plagued with her; she was in every waking thought a dream. I hadn't slept in three days—it's been three days since that fateful night. I had bags under my eyes—they were purple. My hair was messy, but it was always messy. I had a bruise on my left temple and right cheek and a few cuts on my forehead and the side of my neck and my arms under the rolled-up sleeves of my dress shirt and bruises on my right ribs inside me, hiding the broken heart behind their bone walls.

I had fared better.

            "Tate..." she said, hissing in a breath. "It hurts so much, Tate. Please, make it not hurt anymore."

            I combed my hand through my hair; it didn't help the fact that I had a huge black cast covering my right forearm.

            "Tate!!"

            I groan and swing half my body out of the bathroom, leaning against the door jamb. "I can drive, Mom! Just go on!!!!" I swing back into the bathroom, slam the door. I can hear Mom and Adi rustling around on the ground floor below me.

            After a few moments, the front door opened and slammed shut, and I was utterly alone with my thoughts.

            She was bleeding from her nose and her mouth was red with her blood. One side of her face was red; she couldn't see out of her left eye there was so much of it on her face.

            I blinked hurriedly and leaned forward against the counter. I could feel a cold sweat running down my spine, and I was shaking. In a rush, everything from that wicked night plummeted and stole me away.

            I wasn't even able to get a word other than her name out before the whole world tipped on its side and Penny's screams were all I heard. I had hit my head. The truck was spinning; I shook my head and suddenly, I realized where I was.

            I was hanging upside down from the seatbelt; I could feel the strap chafing against my chest where my sweater had ripped in the midst of the crash.

            I could feel glass in my cheek and bits embedded in the soft skin of my shoulder; I could even feel the twin breaks in my right arm. But none of that mattered.

            I could hear her whimpering, scrabbling for a handhold.

            When I looked over...I could see the blood dripping from her and staining the shirts she was wearing.

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