The Golden Queen

Twenty

Twenty 

IT was moonset, just before dawn, when the sun's first rays peeked over the horizon, making the sky appear as if it lay untouched with amethyst. Feeling the first breath of the day, I crawled from my corner and waited for dawn to awaken the tired earth. I had slept little through the night, tossing and turning in my bed, pacing the room for hours, trying to calm the roar of my gut. I had cried more than enough to make the Nile run dry, and my eyes were raw, and bloodshot, I'm sure.  

Menefer was gone, and Ahmose was avoiding me. In two days, I had lost them both. But though Ahmose was angry with me and elsewhere in the palace, he was still alive and breathing. Menefer was gone forever. 

And so my thoughts turned to her as the sun began to rise over Thebes. I had promised I would save her, and that last time I saw her alive, she gazed into my eyes as if she believed me. So why would she take her own life when we still had time to find the real killer? That question would forever remain unanswered, and that left me with a sense of foreboding.  

A few more days passed after that, and Ahmose still hadn't spoken to me. I spent time writing in Father's journals, keeping details of anything I deemed important, political decisions that often erupted into an argument between Thutmosis and Pharaoh. The servants kept me informed of everything relating Pharaoh, and I rewarded them by giving them time off whenever they were assigned to tend to me.  

The feud between them seemed to grow as each day passed, and I wondered if I was the fuel being doused over the flames that burned between the two brothers. I grew tense during the days that followed, and wanted to be near Ahmose. 

I sat in the windowsill and watched as the sun began to set over the golden desert. The sky turned brilliant carnelian as the sun sank lower behind the dunes, and turned amethyst as twilight approached. The stars that nightfall brought twinkled like gems in the sky. In my hand I held an Adenium. I had plucked it from the garden earlier and brought it back with me, entranced by its bright pink petals. It was the rose of the desert. It was nearly impossible to pass time without Menefer, and it was times like these that her absence made my heart throb like a fresh bruise. 

I could not tolerate the silence anymore. I had to convince Ahmose to speak with me. I peered into the doorway of his chamber, but he wasn't inside. I entered and decided to wait for him. Whether he liked it or not, I would demand an explanation from him. Did he believe the burden he now shouldered was heavier than mine? It was my body that had been in jeopardy, and I didn't even know what had happened to me.  

I sat down in one of the cushioned chairs and waited. I was nervous and frightened. He had ordered me to leave him before, and if he cast me away again, I didn't know how I could withstand it. But I didn't have to wait long, because moments later Ahmose came in and found me sitting by the table. 

"Kara?" he said, surprised to see me. I ran my fingers over the petals of the rose. "What are you doing here?" His tone was clear; he didn't want to be near me. His tired eyes looked away at the opposite wall. The dark hollows under his eyes made him appear frail.  

"I didn't mean to barge in," I replied. "I have been alone for days. Menefer..." I hesitated. That was the first time I had spoken her name aloud since I was informed of her death. "Menefer is gone, and you, due to your absence, you might as well be gone too." 

I paused to ease the swirling in my head, and felt my voice return with more strength this time. 

"I don't know what happened to me the other night, and you have avoided me for days, leading me to believe you know something that I do not."  

Ahmose fell quiet under my accusing gaze and removed his robe. Instead of coming to the table, he sat at the edge of his bed. I started to get up and leave, but instead he said, "Come sit with me." 

I eased down next to him. "From the resentful way you regard me, I can see you know what happened. What did he do to me?" 

"Can you not remember anything?" 

I ran my fingers over the knot on the back of my head and tried to remember all that had happened. I had flashes before Thutmosis had struck me, but after that my memory was blank. The entire evening was a muddled pile of arbitrary events. 

"I remember some things," I answered. 

"Then please explain to me why you were in Thutmosis' bedchamber so late at night." Ahmose's form grew rigid as he gripped his knees. I looked into his face but he averted my eyes, like he was afraid to look at me. "The guards saw you wander the halls and enter his chamber without provocation. You were naked in his bed when I found you. Did you go there to be with him?" 

He turned to face me then, his eyes pleading and holding more pain than I had ever seen in him.  

"I want to hear the truth from you," he whispered. 

My mind began to swirl again as I tried to recall that evening. I had gone to his chamber willingly, but my motive had nothing to do with him. Why had I gone there? The memory was just out of reach. 

"I can't remember..." I murmured. 

Ahmose gripped his face with a shaky hand. "I want you to leave," he mumbled. 

"What?" I wasn't sure I had heard him correctly. His face was buried in his hands, and his voice was a muffled groan. 

"Leave my chamber, Kara. I do not want to see you anymore!" he shouted. This was the first time he had ever raised his voice to me, and the tremors it sent through me brought me to tears. I retreated from his chamber, wrapping my arms around myself, doing everything in my power to hold myself together as the world around me finally caved in.