The Golden Queen

Twelve

Twelve

ALONE, I wandered the quiet gardens, the thick canopy hanging over me in a weeping manner. Here I found peace, undisturbed by the guards I had sent away, tired of them following me everywhere. I wanted privacy, time for myself to grasp my sanity, time to sort through my confusion and doubt. My feelings for Ahmose were perplexed. He was handsome and kind, everything I could dream of in a man, everything I had dreamed of in a man, but what was this hesitation, this reluctance that made me so afraid of him? Was it my fear of falling in love, in the hopes that I may one day return to my home and be separated from him forever? Or perhaps I was simply afraid he would not return my affection.

My heart burned for him, for the comforts of the strength his presence brought; an angel with the burden of a king.

Bored of wandering, I headed back to my chamber. No sooner had I returned was there a knock at the door.

I sensed his presence before I even opened it. Ahmose stood with his back to me, his arms stiff behind him, his fists clenched.

"Ahmose?" I said gently, and he spun around to face me. His eyes were unusually dark with deep circles under them. His youthful face was exhausted and plagued by primal grief.

"You should not open the door without confirming who is behind it!" he said, his lips receding into a thin line. He ushered us both inside. I decided not to tell him I had wandered the gardens today without my guards.

He sighed and stalked farther into the room, to my dressing table where I kept my jewelry and bottles of perfume. A vase of jasmines relished in the sunlight coming through the open window. Outside, the smell of sand and myrrh drifted in. His fingers traced over the carnelian hairclip that rested by my satchel. He glanced into the oval mirror and frowned as if he did not like what he saw.

"You are troubled. Something is wrong."

He turned back to face me, his shoulders sunken under an invisible weight. "I have bad news," he replied.

I went rigid and braced myself as I waited for him to continue.

"The uprising in Canaan is growing stronger," he explained. "We must go to Megiddo and crush the rebellion at once."

"You're going off to war?" I gasped. "I thought you had found a peaceful solution: let them go."

He circled the room, his eyes darting out the window, as if watching for someone. He pulled the drapes closed. He was beginning to frighten me. "It's too late. My spies have informed me that the armies of Syria's allies have now gathered in Megiddo and plan to turn on Egypt. They must be stopped before they can pose a threat to us."

I wanted to convince him to stay, but nodded my head, understanding he must go. "Thutmosis," my voice wavered on his name, "is shrewd. Will he accompany Pharaoh during these trying times?"

"Thutmosis is a lion," Ahmose answered. "He will not cower inside the safety of the palace while the rest of Egypt's sons fight to defend her. Just as Pharaoh shan't."

I could no longer contain my grief, and my eyes grew heavy with tears. He clasped my hands to comfort me. He drew me into his arms, and I hid my face in the rich fabrics that draped him. Today, he smelled of cinnamon and blossoms. I fingered the golden falcon amulet that hung at his chest, its wings spread wide with turquoise encrusted at the edges. "I'm afraid for you," I confessed, recalling the cobra.

"You needn't be afraid," he murmured. "I fight to defend Egypt, but I fight to defend you as well."

I wiped my eyes to hide my tears. Ahmose was strong and brave, and I wanted to be as well. I didn't want to weep like a frightened child. "Will we be separated long?" I asked, trying to sound hopeful he would return in one piece, and not fall victim to a folly that could easily be covered up as a result of battle.

Ahmose's countenance fell. He faltered, "I...am unsure. It is a long march to Megiddo, and I must take into account occurrences unseen. I cannot predict what will happen, but I promise to write you as often as I can."

I shivered in his arms, imagining him leading a bloody battle against the revolt in Megiddo. "I will write you in return," I promised. "When will you leave?"

He pulled me into his arms again and embraced me hard. His desperate arms startled me, holding me tightly, as if he were afraid to let go. His reply came out quickly and was like a dagger to my heart. "Now."

He released me as quickly as he had embraced me, and headed briskly for the door, but I could not let him go just yet. "Ahmose," I cried and he halted in the doorway.

His hand, which gripped the doorknob, was shaking and pale. I ran to him and threw my arms around him again. I didn't know what consequences my actions would have, I couldn't imagine how much the twenty-first century would be impacted by my interference in the past, but I could not allow Ahmose to head into battle without warning of its outcome. The journey he was about to embark on would forever change Egypt's history. I had to ensure he would come back unharmed.

His eyelids fluttered closed and he drew in a breath as I pressed my lips to his ear and whispered, "Guide your men through Aruna's passage."

He pulled away from me, my knowledge of the future startling him. The Battle of Megiddo had been a significant war in Egyptian history, carved into the walls of the great temple at Karnak. This battle was supposed to have been led by Thutmosis, but because of my interference, Ahmose did not perish from the cobra's venom, and survived to face the battle instead. I knew the outcome, and I had to guarantee Ahmose made the same decision as Thutmosis would have made: the one that led the Egyptian army to victory.

Ahmose seemed to understand my meaning, and retreated from my arms without reply. I watched him go. He was slipping away, like sand through my fingers.