roses↬sebastian stan [1] | ✓

thirteen || voicemail

"Hey." A short pause followed, accompanied by a sniff. "It's Sebastian. You probably already know that, but God, I can't sleep. Everyone else is asleep and I can't text anyone. You're also asleep, probably. And that didn't make any sense. Damn. But at least you'll hear this, right?"

There was a slur to his words, and a tiredness in his voice.

"Ven, I'm sorry if I'm bothering you. I-It's just-Jesus fucking Christ, where do I start?" He sighed, quiet for a long moment. His breathing was heavy, pressed against his phone's microphone. "Okay, anyway, Lav-I-"

"This absolute shit keeps cutting off. This is why I want to call you, but you're not picking up — Actually, I don't want to call you. I don't like confrontation. Okay, to the point: I meant everything I ever said or unsent.

God, you better not hate me. I'm really sorry if this ruins things between you and James."

"This sounds really dramatic, I'm sorry." Another pause, this one elongated. "Please call me when you wake up. Or don't — I'll take it as you declining me and we'll never talk of it again."

"You were the first celebrity I ever crushed on, before I was even a celebrity. I looked up American stars and I saw you on like the third page and just holy fuck,"

"I'm getting tired." His voice dropped, quiet and calmer.

"You're the fucking definition of perfection and your friends are great. When Scylla told me you were going to Ireland, I was so. damn. happy. Like, you don't even know—" There was a short exhale, a breathy laugh. "Lav, I like you. I like you a lot."

"Yesterday, I stalked your Insta. I am not a creep, I promise. But you almost never post selfies. You are literally a goddess and yet you don't post selfies. What? But your music is so fucking smooth. It's so good. How do you do that? I sound like a frog."

"I may have gotten jealous when I watched a few music videos in your albums, but its okay."

"I like you a little too much, Lavender Aureillia. Are you? Do you love yourself? Please do. I want to hug you so badly, right now. Please. My head hurts."

"It's getting late, I guess? It's almost four am but I'm still awake. Might as well keep going if I can't sleep. I've said everything I wanted to, though, I think."

"Okay, you might toss all I've said aside, but knowing you from the past few days, you won't be able to. Anyway, meeting you was actually a dream come true. Ven, if you don't return feelings, I understand. I sound like a fucking weirdo. I just want what's best for you. If you've listened to all of this, thank you. It's enough for me."

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edited 05.16.20