Just Friends

Chapter 16: Let it Out

Ever since I reunited with Jack, I've been having less time with Clary or Dakota. Although, they seem to understand; especially Clary who 'ships' us together. Gosh, she's weird.

     Moreover, I have this gut feeling. A new change occurred. I no longer walk with Clary to school. My new walking buddy is Jack. And so far, all my partner projects is with Jack. I guess he was right: he's been trying to win my heart again.

     Although, I don't think the feeling is mutual. I'm still in love with Dakota, but I can't handle the pain in me. I haven't cried since the day we drifted apart in middle school. So what's the difference in high school? It's different because we both made up. We started hanging out again. And now he's slipping right through my fingers.

     I lean my head against the wall. The hallway is empty. I'd be in class, but I decided to ditch since I can't think straight. Sighing, I begin to walk away until I hear a familiar husky voice. I hitch in a breath and lean against the wall to hide. 

     "M-Makayla, I need to ask you something." My eyes widen as I recognize the voice: Dakota.

     I look over slightly and see Makayla and Dakota in the middle of the hallway. Dakota is holding a bouquet of blood red roses. His hands are shaking and it's obvious he's nervous.

     "What is it, Dakota?" Makayla asks with a little teasing in her voice.

     Dakota slowly hands the bouquet to her and whispers, "will you be my girlfriend?"

I hug my pillow tightly. The scene replays in my head over and over again. The picture of them together burns into my brain. This is torture. What did I do to deserve this?

     I hear a knock on my bedroom door. "Come in."

     My door opens to reveal Lavenda. She looks at me sympathetically. I roll my eyes. I don't need anyone's pity. I can handle myself.

     I sit up from my bed and stare straight into her eyes. I ask harshly, "what are you doing here?"

     Lavenda doesn't answer. She closes the door and sits right next to me. "Talk," she commands.

     I put my head down. I mutter softly, "Dakota asked a girl out. It hurts, Lavee. I want to end all my feelings for him."

     Lavenda doesn't say anything. Instead, she gestures me to continue speaking. Sighing, I follow her order.

     "I'm scared. What if I don't get over him? What if he rejects me when I confess? What if it all blows up in my face, torturing me?" I ask desperately.

     My sister sighs and says, "those are 'what ifs'. They won't happen unless you screw up and make it happen. Besides, if Dakota rejects you, it's his loss. You're a girl who deserves so much more than him."

     Although, her words meant nothing to me. I bite my lip to keep my wall of tears from breaking. I can't afford to break down something I built for years. I clutch onto my pillow until my knuckles turn white.

     Suddenly, I feel a soft hand on my back. I look up to see Lavenda pulling me into her arms. I relax against her grip and close my eyes.

     "You can let it all out, Colette," I hear Lavenda whisper softly.

     With that, I burst into tears.