Eighteen

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I don't know what I should do now. If I leave, I will be on the run again. I don't want to be on the run again. I like staying in one place, not having to run for hour after hour each day with them chasing me. I've just gotten settled here to. I can actually go out at night and get real food from the store down the road without anyone ever being suspicious of me.

But if I don't run, if I stay, then they could find me. That boy found me. Even if it was an accident. What if he tells someone? What if they find him?

What if they find him??? Then they will question him, torture him, kill him. And then they will come for me.

What have I done? If they know that he found me, they will kill him! I can't let that happen. He can't die. I have no idea why, but I can't stand the thought of him dying, even though I was prepared to kill him myself only hours before.

Why? Why do I feel this way? Why do I care? I have never cared before. I never cared about that gangbanger who found me last year. But he was going to hurt me...

Who cares?! I still killed him. I still ended his life, just like I ended the lives of them, of the monsters who made me, who chase me, who seek to kill me. I've killed. I have killed more people than I care to remember.

So why couldn't I kill him? Why do I care what happens to him? Why?

I don't know, but I'm going to find out.

To be continued ;)

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