my bursts of inspiration (random short stories)

All my scars are open

Hey guys Mik here, sorry its been ages but me and JD have been swamped with revision and exams its horrendous! well, heres a little thing for you guys. recently well, ive had this major thing for a good friend of mine and well. this is how it turned out

enjoy :D

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Hurt. Disappointment. Heartache. 3 of the emotions that are making it impossible for me to concentrate on my studying. My head is screaming at me to just be fine, that why should something as little as a crush matter in a world full of tragedies. I guess that's because, it was more than just a school girl crush. I knew from day one when I first met him it was going to bring either joy or heartache to me and as usual its the latter. God I'm so stupid. I locked my heart up because I never wanted to go through something like this and I was doing fine. I would get little crushes but that was it. But this time its as if he bounded past every guard, every wall every boundary I put up to protect myself and, I let him. I tried to hide away but it was as if he wouldn't let it. Just being near him made me want to open up like a book. He looked at me with such joy, such kindness in his eyes that he made me forget why I locked myself away to begin with. Its almost like the sheer crystal turquoise blue of his eyes began to pick the emeralds out of mine, polishing each and every one then returning them to their spots. Bringing joy and light back into my life. I could see the way he did, how he saw something in everything. Like my old self. That's a person no one has seen in a long time. So long its as if she was a whispering memory passing in the wind. Yet him, someone who was so imperfect himself it made him perfect brought her back piece by piece. First it was the eyes, then the smile I could begin to feel stretch across my lips, lighting my face up once more. He made me feel as if I was no longer that wandering ghost of what once was but someone with a beating heart. I felt alive. That's when I began to fall. I tried to stop myself but with each passing moment he got closer and closer to my heart. I should have backed away. Left. Just disappeared from his life without a goodbye but I couldn't do it. I had changed, so much. Others noticed it. It was obvious though. I saw it coming yet I refused to admit it. I knew it was only me who had these thoughts, feelings, dreams. That's when I was truly broken. All walls gone, everything open. He had completely torn me apart. Yet he didn't know. He had no idea of what ruins I had been left in. So once more I started again. Building walls, creating distance. He wouldn't let me, he kept pulling me in. Like a whirlpool but I wasn't resisting. It became like a dance of destruction. I would build, he would destroy. By the end, I had just given up. Let myself be washed away in everything that he was, is. Let myself get caught up in what could maybe be, listening to the fickle thought that passed through my mind. Then it happened. I got so distracted that it hit me like an oncoming wave of icy water. Friends. That word to this day has a taste of disdain when it crosses my lips. I was shocked, only slightly. My head reminded me that this is what was to come and I should do well to not have forgotten it. So, with a strained, slightly lunatic smile stretched across my lips I utter "I'm fine" and begin to once more pick up the pieces behind a façade. I feel myself slowly slipping down into the depths of the ocean. Everything slowly fading to a dull. Promising myself one last time to keep the walls up, to not let them in. But even as I myself slowly fade, I know its a lie.