Looking Through Me | Attack on Titan Fan Fiction

Chapter 6: Blinding Pain

My heart jumped into my throat, and my arms started shaking as I kicked backwards while it stared at me. I could tell that by its large smile and glassed over eyes that it wasn't a normal Titan. It was an abnormal.

So fast that I didn't even blink, its hand grabbed me, and I let out an ear-piercing shriek. I pounded on the hand, begging it to let me go as I screamed again. All this work, all that Eren and the others went to...and for this? I kicked and screamed, waving my body about to loosen its grip, but I knew it was futile. It was an abnormal. It roughly shoved me in its mouth, and I was screaming as I felt like I was being swallowed; trying to refrain from vomiting because of the stench in the Titan's mouth.

Is this where it actually ends for me? I felt tears well up in the corners of my eyes at that thought. It shut its mouth, the last of the daylight fading. My shrieks echoed, deafening to my own ears. To my surprise, I heard a sharp twang and the inside of the mouth of the Titan shook as it let out a battle screech.

Clawing at the tongue, I saw what stopped it from closing its mouth. My 3D Maneuver Gear was still attached to the stone castle walls, which was attached to...me. As my last hope, with all my luck piled into that one move, I pushed myself with all my might into the air. When my feet left the tongue, I felt my body lurch forward as the wires tried to pull my weight. The abnormal shrieked again, and tried closing its mouth. I slammed into the teeth, and I punched them with all my might.

"Let me out, DAMMIT! For humanity's sake, open your mouth! NOW!"

With one last final slam, one of the teeth broke loose from all my adrenaline. My 3DMG finally obliged, and whipped me forward, with one of the grapples breaking. Oh shit! It snapped, and I became a rag doll. My body sharply whipping me in a tight circle, right into another person.

Mikasa's body collided with mine, and to my horror, so did her polished blades. The one from her left hand lodged into my side, in the front and out the back. I screamed in agony as I felt the metal tear through my flesh, and my gear pulled me into the stone wall. My body limply slammed into the bricks, sending the blade deeper into my abdomen. Warm blood made a giant crimson splat against the wall, and my form peeled back.

The other grapple snapped, and my body fell from the wall. My eyes felt bleary and just wanting the pain to end as I accelerated towards the ground. The pain of everything was amplified, from the sword in my side to my spine and ribs shaking and pounding from coming into contact with the wall. I saw the green of the ground separate into individual blades of grass as I came closer, just about to hit the ground. I shut my eyes, and waited for the final second to come.

But it didn't. Another person grabbed me out of midair, pulling me into their arms. I heard a grunt as they grabbed my body and held my weight. In the background, cries of the Titan could be heard as Mikasa struggled to kill it. My body jolted as the person holding me hit the ground, and my hazel eyes slid open with all of my final strength.

The head of blonde hair was in disarray, and the pale blue eyes were wide in fear and beyond disturbed. They ran through the courtyard, my body bouncing with theirs through every step. It was torture, the feeling of the blade sinking deeper into my right side every time their foot hit the ground.

"Ar...Armin?" I moaned hoarsely.

His eyes flicked down, and his mouth was formed into a silent scream. "It's... It's okay, Jennika. You're going to be...fine, just fine," he said, unsure. "I'm sorry I left. This wouldn't have happened."

Now Armin was feeling guilty that he left me. I wanted to yell, to scream that it wasn't his fault, but I knew that if I did then I would probably black out.

"Eren! EREN! Help!" Armin yelled, his pace slowing down, forcing me to cringe in pain as the blade adjusted itself.

My neck rolled to the side, and I saw the handle sticking out from my hip. Blood soaked my clothes, and I gasped, turning away. All the sounds around me blended, until one voice broke through it.

"What?! What's wrong? Oh my God... Give her to me, now!"

Tears slipped down my cheeks in pain as I was handed off to Eren, and I was groaning. "Someone, stop the pain..." I cried, tears blinding me. "Make it stop..."

"Shhh, Jennika. It'll stop soon." Eren looked down at me, and I saw his emerald eyes clouded in worry.

Another pair of footsteps joined Armin's, and I saw a head of pitch hair come up beside me. She reached for my hand, which was cold, grey, and clammy. "Jen... I'm so, so sorry. I-I heard you scream, and I... I came as fast as I could. I knew you didn't have any weapons yet, and I... I panicked. I didn't mean to hit you, and to..."

"Mikasa..." I groaned. "Don't...beat yourself up. Eren already said...that I'll be...just fine," I moaned.

She closed her eyes and covered her mouth; her pace slowing down until she came to a stop and let us pass her.

"Eren, is she losing...too much?" Armin questioned, struggling to keep up.

His face was like stone. "No. She'll be fine. I promise."

My eyes closed, and I felt our movements stop. Eren kicked open a door, and ran inside, Armin trailing behind. He laid me down on his bed, and my tears refused to stop. They rolled down my cheeks, and I bit my lip as it quivered.

"Eren..." I begged, "Make it stop, please..."

His hand grasped mine. "It will, I promise it will. But you'll have to tough it out for a moment, okay?" The warmth of his hand left as he let go, and ran to another room. "Go get the medical supplies! I need to get Mikasa to put pressure on it!"

"Right!" Armin sprinted out, and I was alone in the room.

Half my body was off the table, being that the metal went through my side, parallel to my scar. The blood was dripping and pooling on the floor, and looking at it made me feel weak. Dots of different colors started to invade the corners of my vision, and I felt lightheaded. I couldn't think straight anymore. Up was down, and gravity felt like it was pushing me skyward. How long would they be? How long until they came back?

Would I be alive when they came back?

The door slammed open, in between my shallow breaths. I looked over, and saw Mikasa run in, and Eren racing behind her.

"Jen!" Mikasa exclaimed, and ran to my side. She took a hold of my freezing hand, and I only looked at her face. Tears weren't evident, but her eyes were glossy.

Immediately after, the door slammed open as Armin charged in with armfuls of medical supplies. Mikasa backed up, and Armin laid it out. "Gauze, cotton, bandages, and other things. This is all we have."

Eren nodded, and I felt him slap my cheek lightly. "Jennika, you need to be strong for us. Just for a few minutes."

I nodded, my lip still quivering. Mikasa grabbed some of the cotton, and put it between my teeth. "Bite on it."

I closed my mouth, and saw Eren's eyes full of pity and despair, begging God to let him switch places with me. "Armin, pull out the blade. Mikasa, I'll need you to cover it with bandages and cotton."

I felt his hands grasp my wrists, holding them above my head, pinning me to the table.

"Now..." He looked absolutely broken. "Go."

Armin clenched his teeth, and pulled on it. I screamed, and shook my head back and forth, but Eren held me down. I tasted iron, blood bubbling in the back of my throat. Mikasa let out small mumbles of torture as she pressed on it, her sleeves rolled up but still stained with red. Her hands were slick with blood, and she grit her teeth. Armin let out a yell as though his pain were my own as he continued pulling, nearly half out.

I leaned my head back, crying in agony. Is this what Eren felt when the rubble of that wrecked building pierced his chest? Is this what it's like to try all you can, and fail in the end? I remembered scenes of Eren crying, Armin, and Mikasa too. Speaking of that, I felt one of Eren's tears splash against my cheek, running down with the rest of mine.

"STOP IT! THE PAIN! STOP!" I howled, and I felt him push harder on my wrists. I bit down on the cotton so hard that my jaw nearly locked, almost swallowing it when I screamed.

Armin's cries grew louder as it was nearly three-quarters out. The sound of the metallic ring filled the air, like a sword being unsheathed, but this was much graver. The sheath was my body. And the ring was the melody of death.

I heard Mikasa stifle a sniffle, and continued putting pressure on it. Finally, it came out, and Armin threw the blood-soaked blade onto the floor with a clatter. Mikasa grabbed more gauze, thickly wrapping it around.

Slowly, every image doubled, tripled, quadrupled, multiplying until they all blended together into a ginormous blur. Red, green, and blue exploded behind my skull, and blinded my eyes. All the noise and voices melded together, sounding droned out by the silence.

"Jennika?" Eren said worriedly. His hand patted my cheek again, and my eyes rolled about. "Don't close your eyes, Jennika, don't close your—"

That was the last thing I heard before silence fell over my body, mind, and rapidly retreating soul.



Darkness... That's what surrounded me. Endless shadow. I panicked, or tried to, but it melted away into carelessness. All concern washed away, and I felt my thoughts become fuzzy and loopy. I was so lightheaded, and I felt like I was finally...free. Maybe I'd just...slip away, and forget about it all. Eren, Mikasa, Armin, all of them. It'd be so much easier.

My mind began to wander, until dull colors started to appear, in place of the plain shadows. I mainly saw grey, the pale stones of the ceiling, and mahogany. Deep crimson from the splats on the wall.

My hearing cleared from a dull buzz to sounds, and I heard murmuring voices.

"Armin, wasn't there any there?" a strained voice asked.

"No, there wasn't! It must've been used!" a nervous one responded.

"But, without it..."

"We have to get it," a girl said. Mikasa.

"That could kill us!" he gasped.

She slammed her hand down. "No. It'll kill her."

"The last idiot that had the blades didn't clean them," someone growled.

"Without antibiotics..." Eren trailed off, and Armin finished his sentence.

"She'll die of blood poisoning."