Looking Through Me | Attack on Titan Fan Fiction

Chapter 4: Aptitude Test

It was about ten minutes into the ride, and my butt already had a saddle sore. Sad, I know, but I'd never ridden a horse before. If I had, I wouldn't be pressed against Eren's back for body warmth. Not only was my butt sore, but I couldn't feel it. I could see my breath, and I really hoped that I wouldn't get a cold from being out here.

All I was wearing was my sneakers, skinny jeans, Journey tank top, and Eren's tan cowhide soldier jacket because all he had was his green Scouting Legion hood. The jacket was only half length though, and I wasn't about to ask for Eren's hood too.

From what they told me, it was a six-hour ride to where we were going, and that was only the beginning. From then on, it was strict training and schedules. It was going to be rough, painful, exhausting, and overall stressful. I was going to get hurt, want to give up, and possibly die, but Eren, Mikasa, and Armin weren't giving me a choice in the matter. A part of me still wondered why they insisted on going so far for me, but part of me already knew. It's just who they are, I told myself, they always fought their hardest for what they believed in.

That thought made me feel safe and cared for, and my arms tightened around Eren. I leaned against his back, my front warm and my back freezing, my cheek against his shoulder and my breaths like silver mist in front of me. To pass the time, I had some pretty damn weird thoughts.

Me seeing my breath is like a dragon seeing its smoke... Then I'm kinda like a dragon, too. It's like a white colour, my breath. White mist. Wait, what was that guy's name in Kick Ass? Red Mist? Yeah, he was weird. Especially when they went into that burning building... What if the place we're going to burns down? What if the Titans see the smoke and eat us?! Oh, my God, Jennika, calm the hell down. I'm not Red Mist, the place isn't gonna burn down, and I'm not a dragon.

Now that that was settled, I decided on counting my breaths. It was like a more boring version of counting sheep, but Mikasa specifically told me not to fall asleep or I'd fall off the horse. Well, I could probably rest for a little bit, and they wouldn't be angry. After precisely one thousand, three hundred and seven breaths, I closed my eyes and focused on the musky smell of Eren's green hood.



"Jennika? Jen, wake up, now."

I felt someone roughly shake my shoulder, and I groaned. My hand went to grab for theirs and shrug them off after a string of swear words; but instead Armin clapped his hand over my mouth. When I looked above us, I did all I could not to scream.

The sun was coming out, and I probably snoozed for a good three hours. The sky was painted red and orange, reminding me of the sunrise in The Lion King, but that wasn't what was terrifying, obviously. In place of that was a foot that was as large as a New York taxi, and less than ten feet away from the bushes that we were in.

Armin was on my left, Eren on my right, and Mikasa on his other side. They looked at the Titan towering above us, with their blades ready, but I wasn't sure what they could do. I don't even think they knew what they could do. Their 3DMG was practically useless now, in the open fields outside the walls. The horses were tied up to some trees about thirty feet away, so I assumed that Eren probably just carried and dumped me into the bushes.

The foot took a step, to our right. The ground quaked when it landed, a plume of dust surrounding its footprint. It took all I had not to jump onto Armin and pray that it would be over soon.

Jeez, I thought Armin was a wimp, but that was nothing compared to me. The next time you watch Attack on Titan, consider that.

The behemoth footsteps continued to walk away, uninterested in the horses and unable to find the meal it was deprived of: us. None of us moved for about an hour, because there could've been Titans anywhere, and it'd take less than a moment for it to turn around and run back. It made me feel like I was on Mantracker. When it was well out of earshot, the sun had fully risen, and it was probably five in the morning, Mikasa got our horses and we climbed back up.

For the rest of the ride, I was on Mikasa's horse. It was smaller than Eren's, but I wanted to give Eren's horse a break. I didn't want to break the poor gal. Mikasa didn't complain, and neither did the mare. We resumed our brisk pace, and started off again. I tried my hardest to refrain from groaning when I was told that there was another two hours. Mainly, I zoned out, and started thinking about what the next season of the anime would be like, and the cute gif I saw that had Eren dancing with the subtitles, "Moves like Jaeger." Yeah, that was cute. It still made me laugh.

Part of me wondered what Rick was thinking, though. Was he wondering where I was? Better question yet, did he actually care that I was gone? No, probably not, I told myself. What reason would he have to care?

I shrugged, and rested against Mikasa. I felt her look over her shoulder, and I straightened back up. What, me? Pfft. I wasn't about to sleep after you specifically told me not to.

She smiled a bit, and closed her eyes. "It won't be long, now. Maybe half an hour at the most."

I smiled back, and gave a thumbs-up. "Thanks."

Now that I thought about it, I never really looked around before. It was too dark, or we'd been hiding for our lives. But once I paid attention, the scenery was beautiful. The sky was nearly blue and cloudless, and there were green trees dotting the horizon. In the distance, I think I saw where we were headed, but it was still definitely a half hour wait.

It looked like an old stone castle, looking spick and span from what I saw. There were trees growing along the sides, and lush greenery surrounding it. It seemed like there was a courtyard, and were probably other cool accommodations from what I saw.

I felt my stomach flip with excitement. Isn't that where Levi took Eren for private training? I was having a fangirl overload. This wasn't so bad anymore, and I was back to being happy, but I knew that this was to make sure I wouldn't get killed. That thought made the pit in my stomach grow deeper, but the thought of being with the three main characters of my favourite show lightened my mood.

The closer we got, the more I inclined my neck. The castle was so tall, and I had to look up more the nearer we got. It was composed of pale grey stone, and had windows with wooden shutters. There was a courtyard with stables lined along the sides, with bails of hay stacked with pitchforks.

"Here we are," Eren said, and we called our horses to a halt.

"Wow," I whispered, and jumped off the horses. I walked to the center of the stone tile circle that made the epicenter of the beautiful courtyard.

Eren, Mikasa, and Armin packed the horses in, and gave them some oats and hay.

"This is amazing!" I squealed to Mikasa.

She smiled back. "Happy to see that. This will be your new home for the next month," Mikasa said.

I opened my arms and spun in a circle, inhaling the fresh air. This was the stuff of legends, right here.

Armin laughed, and waved me inside. "Come on, Jennika! We need some food. You haven't had any since yesterday," he called.

"Coming!" I yelled, and ran inside.

We got some hard bread and beef jerky, along with some stagnant water. It wasn't horrible, but after a month it'd really suck. From what they told me, there was an area with twenty bunks, a training hall, extra supplies in the basement, and a main room with tables lined up for meals. I felt like a weird, poor type of royalty, living in a castle with limited resources and crappy food. But, with these heroes next to me, I wasn't complaining.

"After an hour or so, we'll start training," Eren said through a mouthful of jerky. "We'll start simple."

Mikasa nodded. "I guess we'll all teach you what we're best at."

I swallowed, and raised my hand. "Why do we need an hour? Can't we start right away?"

"Nope." Armin shook his head. "We need to...set up, and I'm pretty sure you don't want to fall over with a cramp."

"Fair enough," I agreed, and spread some butter over my bread.

When we finished eating, we went our separate ways. Eren and Armin went to "set up," Mikasa went to tend to the horses, and I set up our supplies in our bunk area. Eren and Armin's rooms were side-by-side, and Mikasa's and I were across the hall. Nearly an hour passed by, and I was getting bored. Whatever it was that they were preparing, was taking forever.

So I shot out of the rooms, and started exploring. I found the basement and spare supplies, but got lost trying to find the bathrooms for about twenty minutes. Once I found them, it was another twenty until I ran into Armin who was sprinting around the corner.

"Jeez! Slow down there, buddy." I held up my hands, and he laughed.

"We're ready." He took my hand, and ran with me to the main hall. These guys really knew their way around.

He dragged me to the training hall, and I gasped. In the middle was a giant tripod, made of wooden poles upwards of fifteen feet tall. There were thick wires coming down into a harness, and I recognized it as the aptitude test from episode three. Shit.

"What the hell is that torture device?" I asked, and crossed my arms.

Eren chuckled, adjusting the harness, and grabbing something from the bag beside him. "Put this on."

He dropped the clothes into my arms. It was the same as their uniform, with a plain loose shirt, and tight light pants with buckles and belts. "I'm gonna need help," I said honestly.

Mikasa followed me wordlessly, and after nearly ten minutes, I figured it out with her help. I walked out, and immediately felt like the superstar of the room. Everyone was looking at me, nodding in approval, and it made me feel embarrassed.

"Fits well," Armin commented. I smiled in appreciation.

"Let's get ya in here first," Eren said, hitting the tripod.

I let out a nervous breath, my heart pounding. Walking to the machine, Armin and Eren hooked up the fronts and backs onto the belt loops that corresponded.

"Holy crap," I murmured. "I didn't think this through."

"It'll be fine," Eren said. "As long as you don't fail."

I pouted. "That's unnerving."

He grinned. "This will determine everything. The best thing we can do is help you through practice."

I nodded, and they stepped back, Mikasa observing from behind to make sure they didn't screw anything up. She nodded, to signal it was ready, and I took a breath. "Ready."

Armin grabbed the crank, and started to reel me up. The wires tightened, and I felt my feet lift from the floor (which was a creepy feeling, liking jumping in slow motion). As soon as my boot-clad toes left the stone floor, I felt off-kilter.

Eren put out his arms as a spotter. "Whoa! Watch it, Jenni—"

I flipped straight forward, with an oomph right into...Eren's chest. I kinda just stayed there for a few moments, before my face lost grip and I slammed into the floor, Mikasa barely catching my shoulders to prevent breaking my nose. Grabbing her arms, I pushed myself back up, and Armin let me down.

"React faster," Mikasa scolded Eren.

He helped me to my feet, and ran a hand through his brown locks. "Well, that was a...pretty horrible start."

I glared. "Thanks for the support." My gaze shifted to Armin, who looked pretty freaked by my cold eyes. "Lift me up again. I'm ready."

He nodded, and cranked. My feet started to lift up, and I lost the feeling of the floor like before. Relax, relax and balance, I told myself. I spread my arms out, and wavered.

"Balance, don't think, just balance," Eren said. I nodded.

I...I was doing it! For real! I knew I could do it if I brushed myself off and—

This time I fell back, and Mikasa grabbed my shoulders. My face burned with embarrassment. "I can do it! I will!" I exclaimed. "Please, lift me up again."

Armin nodded, and cranked slowly this time. I took a final breath, and leaned back and forth. For a few seconds, I stood perfectly still.

Eren clapped. "There ya go!"

I smiled. I was unsteady, but I felt better. My body jolted as I almost fell backwards, and I arched forwards, my balance beginning to fade again.

"Ah... Aaaah!" I screamed as I began to slide back and forth. Eren widened his arms to make sure I wouldn't hit the floor, but I wished that I hit it.

Instead of the floor, I flew straight into Eren's face. My body fell forward, my arms shooting out and grabbing his shoulders just before our noses touched. He launched his arms out as well, grabbed my sides to hold me back. Both of us stayed wide-eyed for a few seconds, before a maddening blush spread across our cheeks.

"S-Sorry, I, uh," I stammered, and pushed myself back.

Eren rubbed the back of his head. "No, i-it's my fault that I was...um..."

Armin broke the tension. "Wanna try again?"

I nodded. This was going to take awhile.



My face was inches from the floor, Eren barely catching me yet again.

Armin sighed. "Jennika, call it quits for today. Tomorrow we can pr—"

"No," I growled, "I'll never quit. Never."

Mikasa stood beside Armin, silent the entire time, until now. "Let her try one last time. We've been at it for nearly six hours."

Everyone was exhausted, and I was wearing their patience thin. "One last time. That's all I want."

Armin nodded. His arms were probably sore from cranking, but he wasn't complaining. He started again for the thousandth time, and my feet lifted.

Eren put his arms down, watching my every move. I hadn't learned much.

"Arms out, breaths even, knees bent, and head forward," he recited. I followed every step.

Making my heart sink, my body whipped forward, and my arms shot backwards, but...I didn't fall. I steadied myself, and balanced for ten seconds. Ten whole seconds! This was a record!

Eren grinned, and I straightened my arms. I bent my knees up, looked straight forward, and let out the breath I'd been holding. Armin howled. "Yeah, Jen!" Even Mikasa smiled.

Eren gave me a high five, and I spun around, my form impeccable. I had finally passed the first test.