I'm Really Just Asking To Leave

I'm Really Just Asking To Leave - Chapter 5 - Plate Monkey

•••Chapter 5•••

•••Mikey's POV•••

"Go wash the plates, plate monkey."

I looked up, assuming Hailey wouldn't address anyone else in the room with that name but me. "Plate monkey?"

"Plate monkey."

"Why don't you wash them?"

"I'm older, I win by elimination," she told me.

"It's my house, so if you don't wash them you'll be sleeping outside."

She glared at me, then stood up. Leo started whining. "I can't go. My son needs me."

I laughed, then shoved her out of the way. I sat next to Leo, who immediately stopped whining.

"Go wash the plates, plate monkey," I instructed.

"I hate you."

"You have to love me."

"What if I don't?" She challenged.

"Then you're sleeping outside," I smirked.

"I love you, dearest brother. You're the light at the end of the tunnel," she said sweetly.

"That's better... get washing. They're not gonna clean themselves," I said patronisingly.

"They might."

I rolled my eyes, then got up. I walked through to the front door, which was for some reason open. Just when I was about to close it, Gerard's head popped through.

"Where are you going?"

He laughed nervously, then came all the way through the door. He was carrying a suitcase. "You're leaving again?"

"Um... yeah, we, uh, we really have to go now."

"Right now? It hasn't been a week yet!"

"Something, uh, popped up."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "You can't even stay until tonight?"

"Nope. Gotta go... right now."

Jay appeared from the door. When she saw me, her happy face dropped. "Uh... hi."

"You really have to go now?"

"Hey, I... I need to tell you something," Lauren interrupted. All three of us looked around. She was holding a pregnancy test. With a plus on it.

I nearly dropped Leo.

"Well, this isn't as surprising as it should be, 'cause I was really expecting it to be me first, considering I've screwed every unmarried guy in this room," Amy interrupted.

Everyone looked at her, then at Gerard. So... he wasn't gay?

Shit, this was just too much to handle.

I could still remember what I'd said to him about this:

'But I'm not going to kiss her. Say, if I did, and we fell in love, got married, had two kids and a dog, how would you feel? You'd have to come visit us every christmas, birthday, and all the rest, seeing me with the girl you're in love with, and probably will be for way too long of a time! And how would I feel? Knowing I'd taken the only girl you'd ever loved, because of a mistake you made when you were twenty!'

I handed Leo to Jay, then walked out of the front door without saying a word. I heard her shouting my name behind me, before someone told her to leave it a while.

The same person came walking after me. I ignored him completely, and just got in my car. I began to drive away, until I heard him jump on top of the car. I saw his face pressed against the front window.

I halted it to a stop, and got out. "Are you crazy?!"

He rolled off. "Probably..." He stayed silent for a minute. "What're you thinking?"

"I'm thinking... I don't know what I'm thinking. I've got no reason to run away, I mean, we look after Leo plenty, and I'm already married and living in my own house, so... why should I be? But, I can't... I can't... I don't know." After a few seconds of silence, I found the right words. "This was meant to be your kid, not mine. Just like this was meant to be your house, with your wife, and your fucking goldfish!"

"This wasn't meant to be mine, because let's face it, if it were me in that house, the poor motherfucker would be dead by now."

"Uh... Lauren or the goldfish?"

"With me, who knows." Suddenly, his expression dropped as he seemed to realise something.

"What?"

"I... I..."

He passed out.

•••

"Oi! Wake up!" I slapped him hard across the face.

His eyes opened and he shot up. "What happened?"

"I don't know, we were just talking, and..."

"No, I meant who are you?"