Raven >> [T'challa Udaku/Black Panther]

Please... Please... Don't leave me... Please...

(Sammy pov) (2382 Words)

(Warning Triggers: Self harming, Suicidal thoughts etc...)

"Sammy... Sammy wake up...", I heard a familiar voice say as I began to slowly wake up from a dreamless sleep. "...What...", I asked as I sat up from my chair and rubbed my tired eyes. "I-It's Jax... He's gone....", Ethan said as he took a few steps back so I could get out of my chair, still a little weak from yesterdays 'episode'.

"What do you mean he's gone", I asked becoming instantly awake as his words registered in my mind. "We can't find him anywhere...", Oz said in a slightly panicked voice as he came beside Ethan. "He probably went for his morning run... He'll be back later", I said trying to reassure them, and myself but I still felt a slight twinge in my chest. Which I only got when he was far away.

"No, Sammy he's gone... He left...", Ethan said slowly as if I didn't understand English. "And how are you so sure he's gone", I fired back and stood up straighter. "Sammy his stuff is gone...", He said as he grabbed the sides of my face so we were eye to eye. N-No he wouldn't leave me...

I pulled myself away from him and took off upstairs, stumbling a bit, as I ran to his room. Reaching his door I slammed it open and looked around, the walls were bare as always, but the moment I looked at his floor, which was usually messy and covered with his belongings, was now bare and looked just as empty as his walls. The only thing that remained in the room was his bed where Adam sat with his head hung low.

I stood their shocked as I looked at the emptiness in the room that seemed to symbolize the feeling in my heart in that moment. "Sammy... ", Ethan said again tears now welling in his eyes as he turned my around to face him. "He's Gone...", and that's all it took... Those two words caused my world to crumble and my heart to shatter.

Did I cry no... Instead I calmly walked to my room grabbed a shirt that smelled like my brother, and my football that HE gave me on my 13th birthday, and sat down in a worn out lawn chair. I said nothing and did nothing after that, I spent days doing nothing but staring out of the one window in my room and began to watch life pass by.

It was almost as if I was in a trance, I felt like a robot, I had no emotion on my face and as the days passed by so did my appearance. I felt like I could no longer feel, like I was void of any emotions. It was almost as if my body just completely shut down.

I knew what I was doing and so did Adam, Ethan, and Oz. I was driving them crazy, they constantly tried to get through to me... Talk to me and tell me that it wasn't the end of the world but to me it was. My thought soon after began to spoil and rotten; I thought of death more often as well as pain.

And then I began to get curious, 'how far gone am I',... 'Will he come back',... 'Can I even feel pain anymore'... It was then, some time in January, that I finally moved and subconsciously grabbed one of the throwing knives that Jax found, in a dumpster they were dull be he sharpened them and quickly claimed them as his, an began making my way out of my room and into the restroom next door.

I knew, that by the absence of both sound and presence, that I was home alone. Adam, Ethan, and Oz were probably out trying to find something to knock me out of my trance... I locked the door behind me as entered the restroom, It was pouring outside and incredibly windy causing my body to feel really stiff considering how I was dressed for this cold wet weather.

I was in my brothers red and black flannel as well as in a pair of hole filled black sweats. I stopped and looked at myself in the mirror and what I saw I hated it sickened me... There stood a shell of a girl, a corpse, my usually fluffy and bouncy hair looked deflated and faded, my skin was a sickly pail, and the dark circles under my eyes were anything but flattering, I looked at my eyes and saw nothing but dead fish looking eyes staring back at me, and my eyes as well as my cheeks were sunken in.