I swear this is what I want. {BoyXBoy}

I lay on my side, naked beneath the sheets waiting nervously and ready for him. He walked out of the bathroom and saw me. His face instantly flushed as he dried his hands on his jeans.

"What’re you… Why…" he stuttered and ran a hand absentmindingly through his hair. His long, brown hair that reached down to his chin. I studied him thoroughly.

"I just… Uhm…" I stuttered back suddenly feeling very self-conscious. I shifted under the sheet and looked at my hand. I felt him sit down and his hand suddenly appeared in mine. I felt my cheeks heat up rapidly as I looked up into his scarlet eyes, the strange, peculiar eyes that always fascinated me.

I jumped when I felt his lips caress mine. I looked down as my face got hotter than ever.

"I never thought I would enjoy kissing you…" he mumbled and stroked my cheek. I looked back into his eyes and smiled gently.

"Yeah… Me neither…" I whispered as I leaned up and kissed him this time.

I suddenly sat up straight in bed, covered in sweat.

"God dammit…" I whispered and got out of bed.

Hi, my name’s Derek Johnson… and I’m gay.

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I walked through the halls of school, every girl drooling as I passed, or sneaking glances, or whispering to their friends how hot I am. I sighed and shook my head. I had to be born like this. Having every girl I know or have ever known drooling at my feet, willing to do anything for/to me, and I’m gay. Of course no one knows. I hope to keep it that way. But it’s very hard when I’m falling in love with my ever so straight best friend.

"DEREK!" I heard his voice ring out from behind me. I closed my eyes and sighed as I turned to face him.

"JAMES!" I shouted back and he tackled me. We mock fought for a while, spewing curse words at each other and wrestling on the floor. I fought hard against my hormones as he sat on top of me.

"Dude, get off of me! I can’t breathe!" I shouted, laughing and making myself loose more air by the second.

"Oh damn, sorry dude!" he said and got up. I breathed deeply, breathing in the sickly sweet smell of his cologne.

"Shit man. I almost died. Then all of the girls in school would have your head." I said laughing as he helped me up.

"Yeah, and braid its hair and kiss it all the time!" he said laughing as well. You see, James was just as hot as me. Not to sound conceited, I just hear people say I am. His long, brown hair reached down to his chin and it was brushed into a side bang, his eyes were of the deepest scarlet, his body toned but not over the top, as skinny as a guy of his build could be, and he was about 5’9". Like I said… hot. I sighed again as we reached my locker.

"Dude, you alright? You seem pretty lost in thought…" He said looking at me closely. It still boggles my mind how I’ve known him since kindergarten, and he still hasn’t figured out I’m gay and in love with him.

"Yeah man, I’m fine." I said unconvincingly. He shook his head and before I knew it, he had me spun around against my locker, his hands pinning my wrists to the wall. I gasped and I could feel my eyes open wide. I tried to breath but it was impossible. He put his face inches from mine and looked deep into my dark blue eyes.

"Wh… What’re you doing bro? People will think you’re like a f-f-f… gay guy or something." I couldn’t bring myself to use the hurtful word. He smiled and shook his head.

"Oh, Derek… I couldn’t care less what people think. Besides, I know something’s bothering you. And we are not going anywhere unless you tell me." He finished as the first period bell rang.

"But… class…" I said slowly, trying not to get lost in his gaze or his touch.

"And you suddenly care because…?" he asked smirking.

"I just… Uhm…" I said looking at everything but him. Because I’m in love with you James, and having you so close is driving me insane! Now let go!

"I need to pick my grades up before the end of the year." I lied and looked in his eyes. He pursed his lips and shook his head.

"Nope, that’s not it." He said quietly and got closer to my face, trying to get a better look into my eyes. My breath caught in my throat and I looked away.

"Jesus Derek. Calm down bro." he said as he let me go. I sighed, grabbed my things and ran for class. I don’t care how stupid I look. I needed to get away. It’s getting harder to hide my feelings.

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JAMES’ P.O.V

I knew what was wrong. He sucks at hiding his true feelings. His eyes are just sitting there, open for everyone to read. I knew he was gay. I knew he was in love with me. I knew that I didn’t care about it. Not in a harsh way, more of a; ‘It’s not gonna change anything.’ way. But whenever I looked into his eyes, for some reason my heart gave a little lurch. I usually ignored it, but today it was a very strong one. It kind of scared me. I turned toward the front gate of the school, faked sick for the guard, and walked to my car. I drove back to my house and went to my room. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I looked at it and saw the school was calling. I had set my own phone number as the contact to call. I picked it up, listened to the automatic voice tell me what was going on, and then hung up. Like I cared. Now, back to my little problem. Why did my heart react like that? My mind thought back to him against my will, his 5’7" stature, a nice muscular build, thin, short black hair, dark blue eyes, and charming smile. I shook my head and laughed nervously.

"Wow… What’s wrong with me?" I laughed more and sat on my couch. This is insane. Why am I thinking of Derek this way? Maybe I’m g-… No, I couldn’t be. I’ve had so many girlfriends. But did I ever really feel anything for them? I mean, I’ve never had sex with any of them… No. I’m not gay.

My phone vibrated again and I looked at it to see a text message from Derek.

Derek: "Heyyyy. Dude, you disappeared. Did you ditch without me?!"

I laughed out loud and shook my head.

Me: "Of course I did! Ha-ha. Sorry dude. If you want, skip the rest of the day and come chill here. You set the contact to call as your own right?"

Derek: "Well duh. I’d be an idiot if I didn’t. Lol. The minute that bell rings I’m out of here. :D"

I laughed and put my phone on the coffee table.

I must have fallen asleep because before I knew it, I was jolted awake to the sound of banging on my door.

"HOLY SHIT!" I screamed out before I could stop myself. I heard laughing through the door and got up, walking over to it.

"Shut the hell up dude." I said as I opened the door. He tackled me and I gasped for air.

"Dude, get off!" I yelled laughing and shoving on him. He was straddling me and had my arms now pinned to the ground. I kicked the door with my foot, sending it flying closed.

"I will not get off. You ditched without me!" he yelled and smiled down at me. My heart lurched as it started to race. I bit my lip and looked up at him and his smile disappeared slowly.

"Derek…" I heard myself whisper, not entirely knowing what was going on with me. Before I could even register it, his lips were on mine. I felt myself kissing him back and putting my hand on the back of his head.

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Tell me what you think! :)