The Deathless Trilogy

2.25. Becoming a Monster

The drones are all down. Now they're just balls of metal on the floor, their lights off, like the one I stabbed with my shiv before Jane let me out. Gunther opens the door to my room for me, as I'm now shaking against my will. I can't stop my teeth from chattering. My lungs gasp for fixes of air, like I'm hiccuping, and I can't seem to straighten my arms against my sides.

"Take a shower," Gunther says, pushing me into the room, "Brush your teeth, change your clothes, and meet me in my office. I have to clean myself up, too. No one will take me seriously with facial hair like this." He's still trying to joke, but the lilt has left his voice.

My hiccups turn to sobs, as I turn to face him. "Are they really dead?"

"The Council members? Yes. Oh!—Did you mean the Deathless?" I don't answer, and he doesn't pause long before he realizes I can't. "Yes. They were attacked early yesterday morning. Looks like I'm the only family you have left."

I feel my blood turn black, and my vision blurs with tears. "You're not my family. You destroyed everything I ever had. Even Daniel is changed. I've lost everything. I'm...." I lose my breath, the air like poison to my lungs. "I'm an orphan," I choke, "I'm a homeless orphan."

He smiles. "Clean yourself up, and we'll talk bargaining."

He closes the door behind me, and I'm left in Daniel and my red room, with spears for chandelier crystals and torches for lights. Behind my tears, the walls appear to bleed, and I race to the bathroom to throw up.

I wipe off my mouth, my body crying for hydration, so I start the shower like Gunther asked me to and hope to retain some moisture through osmosis. I feel so thin and fragile that it seems like it could work, but when I let myself think again, I start spiraling.

What am I going to do?

One step at a time:

1. I'm going to finish this shower.

2. I'm going to do whatever Gunther needs me to do to get on his good side.

3. I'm going to kill him in his sleep.

4. Finally, I'm going to lead everyone out of here like I promised, and burn this place to the ground. We'll deal with survival from there.

I hug my knees as the water pounds down on me. My tears mix with the shower, until I am sure I can't possibly still be crying. I need to start step two.

I dry off and scrunch some mousse in my hair, like Jane would do when I was running late for breakfast. I dab some foundation under my eyes to cover the redness and apply a heavy share of mascara. That'll do. Then, I find clean clothes from the closet, a black cotton maxi dress with long sleeves, probably worn by Mrs. Cooper to a funeral. It seems appropriate. Then I'm off to Gunther's office.

I open the door and see he's already shaved and wearing a clean suit. "Like new," he greets me.

"What do you need me to do?" I ask.

"Ah, all business. I like it. Thank goodness Nathan injected you with that DNA. That's how I'm conscious now, too. Mitchell found the recipe, so to speak, in Nathan's files. Dr. Wilkes made it for me. Mitchell told me today you saw some of Nathan's files, too."

"Gunther, tell me what you need me to do, and we'll make a deal."

"Cooper was conscious because he was nearly all robot."

"Gunther."

He smiles. "Alright, Ms. Blume, no small talk, I get it. It's been a difficult day for you."

The worst, I'd say. From being nearly strangled to death, to discovering an old friend as a cyborg, to fighting with Daniel, to discovering an old friend as a traitor, to fighting with Mitchell, to seeing my family die, to seeing 19 bodies worth of blood on the floor, to watching my friends and Daniel clean it up. Absolutely my worst day yet.