The Other Archibald

Pilot

"Taylor! How are you? I haven't seen you in months." Lily van der Woodsen (or whatever her last name is these days) smiled. "Splendid. You know this year I hope to sleep with more people than Chuck Bass." Taylor replied sarcastically.

"Ah, so you still are as sarcastic as ever. You mother hoped you'd grow out of that phase." Lily chuckled. "Well, me and my mother are on different pages. She wants us to skip off into the distance for a happily ever after. Meanwhile, I'm in real world." Taylor drawled bored.

Then she saw the face of Serena Van Der Woodsen at the door. "Excuse me, but I should probably greet your daughter. Social obligations and all that." Taylor told her before walking over to said daughter.

"Well, well, Serena Van Der Woodsen has finally returned from her grave. And here I was wondering when the funeral was." Taylor greeted. Serena laughed awkwardly. "Same old Taylor I see?" Serena asked.

"Hmm, I suppose. Now since you've returned, me, you and Blair can finally skip off into the distance for our happily ever after." Taylor said sarcastically. "Serena?" Eleanor asked.

"No it's Cat In The Hat." Taylor chimed in, her voice filled with sarcasm. Eleanor and Serena smiled fondly. "I'm sure Blair will be delighted to see you." Eleanor said tugging the 2 girls in the general direction Blair was last seen.

Serena suddenly looked nervous. 'Ah the Shepard Wedding.' Taylor thought. "Don't worry, my brother hasn't got the balls to tell her just yet." Taylor whispered in Serena's ear. Serena looked at her in surprise. Taylor raised an eyebrow as if to say, 'surprise-I-know-your-secret'.

"Serena!" Blair said with a fake smile hugging her old best friend. "Now who's up for friendship bracelets? Or best friend necklaces more your style?" Taylor drawled.

Nate chuckled at his sister's words. "Or maybe couples massage?" Taylor asked bored. "We saved you a seat next to Taylor and Blair." Eleanor smiled at Serena.

"Oh thanks. But I should really get going. Just came by to say hello. See you at school." Serena shrugged awkwardly. Blair looked at her in surprise trying to think of what to say. But luckily, Taylor spoke before she could.

"Our Bad Girl finally gone Good? What an endearing cliché. Say hello to the Bad Boy who fell in love with The Nerd for me." Taylor sneered. "Will do." Serena chuckled before leaving.

"School? Serena must be back for good." Blair said to herself. "You did know she was coming back. Right?" Is asked. "Of course we did. We though we'd surprise you. You know how much B loves surprises." Taylor drawled, jumping to Blair's rescue.

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"Hey I was looking all over the dining hall for you." Serena smiled walking towards the MET steps. "Wait are you having a party?" She asked picking up an invitation.

"Yes. But since we didn't know you returned since 12 hours ago, you're kind of not invited." Blair said 'sweetly'. "Well actually--" Jenny started. Blair gave her a glare to stop her going any further.

"Pity. You would've loved it. Oh well." Taylor shrugged. "I'm Jenny by the way." Jenny told Serena. "Serena van Der Woodsen." Serena smiled. "I know. I-I mean, lovely to meet you." Jenny replied.
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Blair ran into Taylor's room sobbing. "Nate cheated on me. With Serena." Blair stammered. "I would love to say I'm surprised." Taylor drawled. "Wait did you know?" Blair asked feeling betrayed.

Taylor shrugged. "I may have been traumatised for life because me and Chuck decided to take a walk." Taylor replied bored. "But you know I don't do favours for people. So I let Nate or Serena tell you. After all, their problem, they did they deed." Taylor replied.

Blair sniffed. "Can we just watch Breakfast at Tiffany's?" Blair asked. "Sure. As long as we can watch 'Friends' after." Taylor compromised.
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[At the Kiss On The Lips Party]

"Who's that?" Chuck asked. "Jenny Humphrey." Replied a girl. "I think she's a Freshman." Another girl added. "Ahh there's something so..." Chuck started looking for the right word. "Fresh?" Suggested the first girl.

Taylor frowned. "B, we're going to talk to that Jenny Humphrey girl." Taylor told Blair determined. "Why?" Blair asked. "The Freshman, rare mix of naive, longing and self-destructive." Taylor mused tugging her towards Jenny.

"Having a good time Humphrey?" Taylor asked bored. "Um, yeah. Really good, thanks." Jenny smiled. "I think you'd have much more fun with us. Right, B?" Taylor said nudging Blair.

Blair looked at her in confusion but nodded. "Right. No one likes to be alone at a Waldorf Party." Blair grinned. "Really? You want me to join you?" Jenny asked in shock.

Chuck strutted over to them. "Hello ladies. How's the Freshman?" Chuck smirked. "Not going anywhere near you, Bass." Taylor sneered. Blair grinned. So this is why Taylor wanted the Freshman? Sweet really.

"Don't be a spoil-sport, Archibald." Chuck smirked. "I'm feeling like a different kind of sport. Boxing. Turns out your face is the perfect target." Taylor sneered. "Give it your best shot." Chuck challenged.

So she did. Taylor punched him in the nose. Chuck clutched his (now bloody) nose. "What the hell?" Chuck snapped. "You said to give it my best shot. I did." Taylor replied sitting back down.

Chuck stormed off to his gang of fan girls. "Turning into quite the Rebel, Tay." Blair chuckled. "His face puts me in a bad mood." Taylor shrugged. "Thanks." Jenny squeaked suddenly.

"Any time. I may have no soul, but Chuck Bass has had too many victims." Taylor replied. "I think you're pretty nice." Jenny told her. "That's nice Humphrey. Just as long as you haven't brought any bed bugs from Brooklyn you can sit with us." Taylor sneered.

Jenny seemed surprised by Taylor's change in attitude. "Only so many nice things she can do in a day." Blair explained rolling her eyes. "Right." Jenny nodded.

It seems T may have a heart after all. Saving Little J from Big Bad Bass? How sweet. But poor Bass ended up with a bloody nose. Surely, he's not going to let this one go. I would watch your back, sweetie. A Bass never goes down without a fight... Neither does Taylor Archibald. Who will win?
XOXO
Gossip Girl