Chapter Thirty-Four

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I woke up with an ache running throughout my whole body but was mostly situated in my chest. There was a warm weight lying up against my side and wrapped around me. I must have woken up before Sylvia again, I thought as I opened my eyes. My eyes immediately adjusted to the darkness of the room and I looked towards the weight only to see black hair instead of brown.

It confused me for a second before everything came back to me. I gritted my teeth together at the sudden urge to cry, but I fought back against it. I've cried enough already.

Something dry and heavy made me suddenly conscious of my hands. I looked down to see them covered in blood. My heart beat quickened at the sight while my throat started to sting and burn from bile that was threatening to rise up it.

Quickly I slid out from under Athena and rushed into the bathroom connected to my room. I went to the porcelain sink to thrust my hands under a burning stream of hot water. I rubbed at my hands but the blood was still there. Dry and heavy it started to assault my nose with the scent of Sylvia.

Murderer...

Get off!

Killer...

The blood wouldn't leave my hands...

Monster...

Why wouldn't it wash away no matter how hard I scratched at it?

"Vaden? Are you okay?" A sleepy voice asked shocking me out of my frantic scrubbing. I froze and looked over my shoulder at the tired looking girl standing in the doorway my mind quieting at the sight of her.

I swallowed my nerves and quickly looked down at my hands only to find them shaking and pink, but totally clean. I didn't realise I was panting until I felt how dry my mouth was. I swallowed what little saliva there was in my mouth and tried to calm my breathing. What was happening to me?

"Yeah... yeah I'm okay." I sighed finally controlling myself. I turned the water to cold before splashing some onto my face. I looked at myself in the mirror only to see images of me impaling the masked Hunter with my knife and then revealing Sylvia's pale face.

I closed my eyes and clenched my jaw begging the scene to stop playing. I jumped slightly when thin arms wrapped around my stomach. "I've already forgiven you." Athena whispered as her forehead leant against my back.

I clenched the sink in desperation as my chest just continued to worsen with the amount of pain growing inside it. "Why?" I couldn't help but ask, my voice sounding choked and strained.

"I've already told you. You're different. You're not a monster and my sister wanted you to be the one to do it." She stated while squeezing me tightly.

"Which is ridiculous! Why would she allow me to do that? Why couldn't she just come back with us and you and her could be together again?" I asked in a desperate tone.

"Because she hates Nightwalkers. Though she loved you, she would have been surrounded by the beings that ripped us apart and hurt us." Athena answered.

"Then why are you here? Do you want to leave? You're surrounded by Nightwalkers here as well." I felt her shake her head again my back.

"Because you're here and I know that you'd never allow anything to happen to me." She said with such confidence it made me feel both amazing and terrible.

What if I couldn't protect her? What if I'm the one that ends up hurting her? I already know I am the monster she keeps telling me I'm not. I felt it at the castle. I felt it while fighting Sylvia and I felt it when I was basically playing with Adelle's life like she wasn't a living breathing thing.

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