My Forever (OLD)

Seven: A Missing Spark

Parker

“Stop before you say something you are going to regret,” I warned my girlfriend; although she was very aware she was treading unsteady ground.

“That’s not possible,” Madalynne replied in an uncaring tone.

“Please,” I whispered, taking a step towards her. “Don’t do this. I am trying to be here for you.”

“What? Like I tried to be there for you when Bo died?” She spat, knowing that was still a sore subject for me. “Parker, you don’t want to be with me…I’m broken.”

I took her hand in mine, squeezing it twice. “Whatever you are, you’re mine…and I’m not willing to let you go.”

She pulled her hand away. “Don’t you get it? I’m not going to get any better; I’m just going to make your life miserable.”

“You know I forgive you for that…” I trailed off, referring to finding her wildly drunk and making out with a stranger at some house party.

“That’s just the beginning. I’m only going to hurt you. You deserve so much more than me.” Tears began rolling down her cheeks, a rose color engulfing them.

“I’m not giving up on you. I’m not giving up on us,” I replied softly, stroking her hair. “You’re my other half; the peanut butter to my jelly; the yin to my yang. You, and only you, complete me…”

She looked up in my eyes then, for the first time that night. “I don’t deserve you.” She said in a barely audible whisper.

“We were made for each other. You’re my soul mate.” I kissed her lightly on the lips then. “I love you, Butter Bean.”

I had been home from Basic for two weeks and still no word from Maddy. To keep my mind off of it, I preoccupied myself with getting ready for my trip to Montana, to which I would be leaving for the following week. Jacqueline was ecstatic and while I wasn’t sure what to expect from the first trip and meeting, I had decided not to buy a return ticket. It was a bold move, I’m sure, but I had been dreaming of meeting Jacqueline for too many years to take the trip for granted.

The past few weeks with no contact from Maddy, Jacqueline and I had grown closer. I couldn’t deny any longer the extreme feelings I had for her. I wasn’t sure what this trip would mean for Madalynne and I, and our relationship, but I had convinced myself it was something I needed. Whether it was just to meet the online friend who had been there for me through my toughest times, or to see if there was any potential there, I was keeping myself open to the possibilities.

As much as I had lied to myself that there wasn’t anything wrong with my relationship with Maddy, I was coming to the harsh realization that she may have not waited for me…and therefore might have already moved on with her life, without me. The thought crushed me. The radio silence I had gotten from my girlfriend over the past couple of months could not be ignored any longer. I was going to have to man up and face the music sometime, and what better way than exploring my feelings for the only other lady in my life, Jacqueline.
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Filing off the plane and walking through the airport to the baggage claim I pulled out my phone from my jacket pocket and turned it on. I proceeded to send a quick text letting Jacqueline know I had arrived in Missoula.

I was standing at the baggage claim waiting for my luggage to appear, when I felt a slight tap on my shoulder. I turned around and there she was, the girl I had secretly been fantasizing about for who knows how many years. I had thought she was beautiful on a small computer screen, but the real deal was so much better. She was wearing a white tank top and skinny jeans with gladiator sandals and minimal make-up. I immediately threw my arms around her in a tight hug, instantly feeling a sense of comfort around her, “Jacqueline,” I whispered into her hair.