Sickening - Narry

8: Truth

On the ferry to the Irish mainland, there's an abundance of time. Time to think, time to talk, time to relax, time to worry, and best of all, time to eat. I spend the entire first hour of the ride stuffing myself with anything I could find. Powdered donuts, crackers, crisps, and licorice. I would say i'm overeating because of a nervous stomach, but we both know that's a lie.

In between bites, i'm keeping my eyes fixated on my phone. I'm reading tweets from fans who were at the show last night when Harry finally walks up to me, asking to take the seat across from me. I reply quickly with, "Sure."

When the younger boy has made himself comfortable across from myself, I nervously clear my throat and prepare myself for any reaction that is to come.

"You're feeling better then?" Harry starts before I can begin.

"Yeah. Think I finally got over what I had." I reply, knowing full and well that my second illness was completely made up. All to know if Harry really did take a liking to me, and my body for that matter, depending on my state of health.

"Well good." Harry begins, letting an awkward silence fill the space between phrases, "So what did you need to talk about?"

"Right..." I begin, unaware of what was next to come out of my mouth. I hadn't really thought about what I was going to say. While some days Harry was light of my life, putting my needs and wants before his own, most others we were just good pals. How on earth was I to differentiate how the Englishman actually deep-down felt about me.

On the days that Harry believed I was sick, he made sure to fulfil any worldly desires I had; both in and out of bed. But after I was well again, it's as if he completely dropped me. We remained pals, but the spark he had added to our relationship had vanished. I just need to know if the way Harry treats me some days is how he truly feels about me, or if i'm just some fleeting pleasure.

"I think I already know," Harry said, interrupting my entire line of thought, "I need to apologize, to say the least... I've taken advantage of you. Errr, of your state I mean. I've used your recent illness to get closer to you, to hopefully become more than just friends. It was wrong of me, and for that, i'm sorry."

Harry's statement rattles me. Had this boy just admitted how he actually felt about me? Thinking I didn't feel the same? I sit up straight and continue my deep glare into the younger boy's eyes. "Harry it's okay... I'm not angry." I say to him.

An obvious look of relief forms on the other boy's face and he lets his body relax some. I start to let a smile creep onto my face, and I can't help but let out a small chuckle at how nervous Harry was to say something so benign and actually appreciated from me. But nobody could blame him for feeling this way, as he had no way of knowing that I felt the same passion for him.

I start to speak again, "Harry, I like you too. Like a lot." I say, "I don't see what you did as anything but loving. It's okay."

Harry seems visually happy to hear me say those words and he too lets a smile form on his face. Not the type of smile you send to a friend or the kind you have when you're excited about something. No, this was the type of smile that said 'while i'm still a bit nervous, i'm also relieved.'

He wasn't the only one.