At Age 5

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"Mommy, wake up, please mommy" I pleaded. I shook her again, this time harder. I knew she was dead, because her eyes had gone cold and filmed over, and all the blood inside was spilling onto the plush living room carpet, but I refused to except it. I knew that she was an angel now, and angels and can't come back to earth. Distantly, this reminded me of the scene from the Lion King that used to make me and mommy cry so much, where Mufasa dies and Simba tries to wake him up, but subconsciously, he already knew his father was dead.

I lied down beside her, and threaded my tiny hands between her cool dead ones. As I drifted into a sort of shock-like sleep, pretending that this was only a nightmare, that it wasn't the horrible reality that I was to endure the rest of my life.

I looked over to the side where my father lay, grieving silently, and then saw him look at me and smile bleakly, standing up as he whispered " I love you so much my little munchkin, you know that right?"

I whispered back to him , "I love you to daddy, but please don't go to heaven like mommy did. I want you to stay with me, please, I'll be a good girl, and do all the chores. Please, daddy!"

He traveled across the room, and than knelt beside me, and hugged me. I felt him shaking and I saw tears dropping from his eyes as he kissed my forehead. He looked at me, with so much love and regret in his eyes that I knew this would be the last time I ever touched my dad again.

I couldn't stop from crying, and cried even harder as he said "Mommy and me love you so much, don't ever that doubt that, okay munchkin. Now before I open that door I want you to go out the backdoor, and run as fast as you can to Uncle Mike's house, and don't come back." His voice became stronger as he gently shook me. "I mean it Leona, if you come back, I'll whip your behind so bad, you won't be able to sit for a week straight!"

When I nodded, he gave me a hard push. "I love you daddy!" Burst through my lips, as I ran toward the back door. Tears slipped onto my cheeks, as I heard the gunshots and a man's scream immediately filled the air. As I ran towards, Uncle Mike's house, I had no idea the blistering betrayal that would happen. Or the 8 years of torture and struggle for life I would endure, at the hands I would trustingly play into. All I knew was that daddy told me to go to him, a monster who would break and mold me into the person I was today. Little Red.

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