Previous Page of 37Next Page

Funny Quotes

spinner.gif
Mike Teavee: Who wants a beard?
Willy Wonka: Well, beatniks for one, folk singers, and motorbike riders. Y'know. All those hip, jazzy, super cool, neat, keen, and groovy cats. It's in the fridge, daddy-o! Are you hip to the jive? Can you dig what I'm layin' down? I knew that you could. Slide me some skin, soul brother!
Share this quote

 

Willy Wonka: You can't run a chocolate factory with a family hanging over you like an old, dead goose. No offense.
Grandpa George: None taken. Jerk.
Share this quote

 

Shopkeeper: [Surprised] You found Wonka's last golden ticket! In my shop, too!
Share this quote

 

Willy Wonka: [looking at silver hair] I realized in that moment, "I must find a heir".
Share this quote

 

Willy Wonka: [getting his shoes shined by Charlie, his face hidden behind a newspaper] Pity about that chocolate fellow, Wendle, er, Walter...
Charlie Bucket: Willy Wonka.
Willy Wonka: That's the one. Says here in the papers his new candies aren't selling very well. But, I suppose maybe he's just a rotten egg who deserves it.
Charlie Bucket: Yep.
Willy Wonka: Oh really? You ever met him?
Charlie Bucket: I did. I thought he was great at first, but then he didn't turn out so nice. He also has a funny haircut.
Willy Wonka: [coming out from behind the newspaper] I do not!
Charlie Bucket: Why are you here?
Willy Wonka: I don't feel so hot. What makes you feel better when you feel terrible?
Charlie Bucket: My family.
Willy Wonka: Ew!
Charlie Bucket: What do you have against my family?
Willy Wonka: It's not just *your* family, it's the whole idea of...
[balks]
Willy Wonka: You know, they're always telling you what to do, what not to do and it's not conducive to a creative atmosphere!
Charlie Bucket: Usually they're just trying to protect you, because they love you.
[Willy looks away]
Charlie Bucket: If you don't believe me you should ask.
Willy Wonka: Ask who? My father? Ha! No way. At least not by myself...
Charlie Bucket: You want me to go with you?
Willy Wonka: Hey! Hey, what a great idea! Yeah!
[jumps up]
Willy Wonka: And you know what? I brought transporta-
[bangs into the glass elevator and falls down]
Willy Wonka: I have to be more careful where I park this thing.
Share this quote

 

Willy Wonka: You're all quite short, aren't you?
Violet Beauregarde: Well yeah, we're children.
Willy Wonka: Well that's no excuse. I was never as short as you.
Mike Teavee: You were once.
Willy Wonka: Was not. Know why? Because I distinctly remember putting a hat on top of my head. Look at your short little arms. You could never reach.
Share this quote

 

Violet Beauregarde: [after stretching into a pretzel shape] Look mother, I'm much more flexible now.
Mrs. Beauregarde: [disapprovingly] Yes, but you're blue.
Share this quote

 

Willy Wonka: I sure hope no part of him gets left behind.
Mr. Teavee: What do you mean?
Willy Wonka: Uh, well... sometimes only half of the little pieces find their way through. If you had to choose only one half of your son, which one would it be?
Mr. Teavee: What kind of a question is that?
Willy Wonka: No need to snap, just a question.
Share this quote

 

Willy Wonka: Ew, somebody grab him.
Share this quote

 

Mr. Salt: Are you using the Havermax 4000 to do your sorting?
Willy Wonka: No.
[laughs]
Willy Wonka: You're really weird.
Share this quote

 

Previous Page of 37Next Page

Comments & Reviews

Login or Facebook Sign in with Twitter
library_icon_grey.png Add share_icon_grey.png Share

Who's Reading

Recommended