"OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life. " --The Goonies (Movie, 1985
Annelle: I think we should pray.
Sammy: I'd rather eat dirt! » Annelle: Miss Truvy, I promise that my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair. » Annelle: That is one ugly dog. What kind of dog is that?
Clairee: If it had hair, it'd be a Saint Bernard. » Annelle: We are in the house of the Lord!
Clairee Belcher: A lot she cares. Ousier's never done a religious thing in her life.
Ouiser Boudreaux: Now that is not true. When I was in school, a bunch of my friends and I would dress up as nuns and go bar-hoppin'. » Annelle: We'll talk about uncomfortable when you're nine months pregnant! » Clairee Belcher: All gay men have track lightin'. And all gay men are named Mark, Rick, or Steve. » Clairee Belcher: I love ya more than my luggage. » Clairee Belcher: Looks like two pigs fightin' under a blanket. » Clairee Belcher: Ouiser could never stay mad at me; she worships the quicksand I walk on. » Clairee Belcher: Ouiser, I'd recognize this penmanship anywhere. You have the handwritin' of a serial killer. » Clairee Belcher: That which does not kill us, makes us stronger. » Clairee Belcher: The older you get, the sillier you get.
Ouiser Boudreaux: Yeah, well the older you get, the uglier you get. » Clairee Belcher: The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize. » Clairee Belcher: They were both high. They'd been smokin' everything but their shoes. » Clairee Belcher: Well, you know what they say: if you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me! » Clairee Belcher: You know, you would be a much more contented, pleasant person if you would find ways to occupy your time.
Ouiser Boudreaux: I'm pleasant. Damn it! I saw Drum Eatenton at the Piggly Wiggly this morning, and I smiled at the son of a bitch 'fore I could help myself. » Clairee: And I can also report that a mysterious car is parked in her driveway at least once a week...
Ouiser Boudreaux: There. My secrets out. I'm having an affair with a Mercedes Benz! » Clairee: I've just been to the dedication of the new children's park.
Truvy: Yeah, how did that go?
Clairee: Janice Van Meter got hit with a baseball. It was fabulous.
Truvy: Was she hurt?
Clairee: I doubt it. She got hit in the head. » Clairee: Ouiser, you sound almost chipper what happened today you run over a small child or something? » Drum: Ouiser, can we call a truce long enough for me to get a piece of cake?
