Born To Fly

Eleven - Mine

Eleven

  (Joel)

         I remember getting to the party and then I blacked out. Next thing I knew I was home in my bed. And the sun was busting through the window. I rolled over and the ache in my head wasn't as bad as the ache in my back. I must have fallen asleep somewhere uncomfortable. I got out of bed and looked over my shoulder, and I closed my eyes. Thankful no one else was in the bed. I wouldn't remember her name and then it would be embarrassing to go through that in front of Bailey. I got up and she was standing in the kitchen and she looked like she had been crying.

"Good morning?" She didn't look at me, and I looked around. And notice that Lucas was gone. I walked over to her, and without asking I broke one of her rules. I pulled her into a hug, and she didn't say anything at first, but wrapped her arms around me and sobbed into my chest. I rested my cheek against her hair and she clung to me.

"She just took him away from me. I'm all alone again..."

"I'm here." She was sobbing. I picked her up and sat on the couch with her, I pulled a blanket around her and she fell asleep with her face in my shoulder. And I ran my hand over her blonde hair. I sighed and laid my head back against the couch. It was too early to be doing this on a Saturday.

(Alice/Bailey)

I woke up and I felt strangely calm. I knew Lucas was gone, and it was highly likely that I would never see him again. But something mattered more. I picked my head up and Joel had fallen asleep with his head back against the couch. And I felt my heart flutter, he comforted me. He was there and he held me until I fell asleep. Did he care enough to maybe love me? I wanted him to, I wanted him to care for me and no one else. It might have been selfish of me to have those thoughts, but when it came to Joel be lucky that's the only thing I thought. I sat up and ran a hand over my face. I got up without waking him and I walked into the kitchen making a cup of hot chocolate. I stood looked out over the snow, and for a moment I wondered if I looked like my mother, and I walked into the attic and looked down at the piano, and for a moment I felt like I was watching a memory of me playing nonsense, I sat down at the keys, and I remembered my aunt giving me lessons, I pushed that memory out of my head and looked back down to the piano. I pulled out of the books that held my mother's music and I started the beginning, and I played with my eyes closed. I have been playing the same music for about three weeks, so I knew it all.     

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I walked back downstairs, and Joel was awake, but he hadn't move from the couch.

"Thank you." I spoke from the stairs and he jumped, he looked at me and he offered something of a stunned smile.

"You're welcome." I walked into the kitchen and refilled my cup. I was waiting for the water to be ready when he walked into the kitchen and it was like some kind of tension had magically worked its way in between us. We were no longer as connected as we had been.

"Joel--" He turned and looked at me and I had lost the words that I had wanted to say. I looked away and he went back to searching the fridge for something to munch on. I got my hot chocolate and escaped upstairs. I had almost told him...almost. It could have slipped out so easily. I turned on my iPod and played Wanted You More by Lady Antebellum. I seemed to apply to me in this moment. I kept a straight face, and I looked at the black stone necklace I had found the first day here, and I touched the white one on my neck. And I picked up the leather strap. I knew who this was supposed to belong to. And my heart whispered his name, but my brain told me that he was a player and always would be. He was wanted by every girl in the school, why wouldn't he be? He had every opportunity thrown at him, and for him to resist them all would make him a saint, almost nonhuman..and although he was nonhuman in another way that didn't help his situation. I stood there rambling on in my mind, I didn't hear my door open. I wasn't paying attention, until I turned and his blue eyes sent an almost instantaneous shock through my system. I looked at him and I didn't feel like I was being cornered, I had never felt more free than at this moment with his eyes on mine, and my heart running from my chest.

"Bailey, we need to talk about your rules." His voice was a bit strained and I titled my head to the side. He walked in the room and over to me, by passing my bed, which was usually what he took over when he came into the room. And he stood in front of me, almost a whole foot taller than I was. We measured once, he was exactly 9 inches taller than I was, and he had never used his extra height to intimated me. And I wouldn't be intimated from him anyway.

"What about my rules?" He gave me a smile that made my breathing cut off, and my brain function come to a complete halt.

"I can't follow one of them." He spoke softly, he was standing so close to me. I could feel his body heat, and it sent chills over my skin. I closed my eyes. And then I felt him back off, and it left me feeling confused.

"I...." He looked away, embarrassed. I sighed and closed my eyes pulling myself under control.

"Which one is the problem?"

"Laundry. Your washer doesn't like me." I nodded.

"I'll take care of it." He walked out of my room and I looked to the window. I could almost feel him standing close to me again, and I needed him here. I wanted to make the move that needed to happen, but what if he rejected me. We lived together, these kinds of things had to be taken into account.

(Joel)

I leaned back against my door, and my heart was racing. I had almost done it...I was so close, but the idea of her being in love with Nick stopped me. Everything in me screamed in frustration, this was torment, but if I left the house than I would stand even less of a chance against Nick. He was better than me, tanner, bigger. We stood about the same height, but he was just better. I didn't know how to explain it. He had all the girls kneeling and kissing the ground he was walking on. Me? I was the silent one, that when I spoke all the girls fell in love with my voice, and they weren't in love with my body like Nick. The more of I thought about it, the more I wanted to go back into Bailey's room and finish what I had started. And show her that I was the better one. I pulled open my door and before I could take a step the small voice in the back of my head stopped me.

Don't make the same mistake twice. And I shut my door, I sat down on the side of the bed and dropped my head into my hands. Why was this so difficult? I know how to deal with women, but Bailey seemed to be a new kind of women. One that sent all of my rational thoughts running to the corners of my mind, and I wanted nothing more to pull her to me and kiss her with all the passion I felt when I see her wake in the morning. I wanted to wake with her next to me in bed. Not next door, or in the next room. There was too much in between us. I heard my door swing open and my head popped up.