The Carousel

Dix-sept

Six weeks after Jared left Vienna, Ondine woke up with a start when she felt like an alien had made itself home in her stomach and was trying to claw its way out. She hadn't eaten the night before because she was already feeling queasy and thought she would just throw everything she ate up. Since her stomach was empty, she was dry heaving. She slumped over the toilet on her knees, praying that she would throw up something, anything, just so she can feel better. Tears ran down her cheeks as she gagged, but nothing came out. She held her stomach with one hand while the other wiped the beads of sweat that formed on her brow. She did not feel well at all.

She stood up and washed her hands then splashed her face with some cold water. She looked at her dripping wet face in the mirror and automatically flashed back to when she sat on the sink because of Jared. They hadn't used protection that time in their haste, and she hadn't been on the pill since leaving New York. She mentally checked her monthly cycle and since she had been so stressed out lately, she hadn't noticed she had not had a period in six weeks. Aside from the orchestra, she found a side job teaching piano to a couple of children from a couple of families who lived in her apartment building. She also subbed for a piano teacher at the music school near her building because the regular teacher went on an indefinite leave after her mother passed away suddenly.

It had been tough getting back to routine after Jared left. She missed him so much, missed her family so much. She'd never been this homesick before. She thought it was different because of Jared, because she was so in love with him and they had just recently become official. While keeping busy kept her mind from missing people back home, and teaching piano was something she enjoyed, but it was additional stress in her life.

She thought back to Jared. While they haven't discussed whether they wanted children or if they would even make it that far in their relationship, she heard his radio interview online when she went on the station's website. They guys had joked about Jared not wanting children, but he hadn't refuted the claim, so possibly being pregnant out of the blue scared the living daylights out of her. What if he reacted negatively? She was snapped out of her reverie when she heard her phone ringing in the other room. She wiped her face on a towel before exiting the bathroom. She picked up her phone and saw the request to video chat. She took a deep, calming breath before accepting the call.

"Hi, babe."

"Hi, babe," Jared replied happily. His face fell when he noticed her red eyes and nose and flushed cheeks. "Ames? What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.

"I don't know yet. Maybe nothing."

"Babe..."

"Jay, I'm scared."

He wished for nothing more in the world than to be with his girlfriend at the moment and hold her in his arms. "Tell me."

"I could be wrong, Jay," she started crying.

"Ames, babe, please tell me what's going on."

"That morning we had sex in the shower, we didn't use protection."

"I pulled out, Ames."

"Yeah, but did you do it in time?" she bit her bottom lip as she waited for his reply.

"I'm pretty sure I did."

"Jay, I haven't had a period since before your surprise visit."

"It was just one time," he reasoned.

"It only takes one time!" she couldn't help but cry in frustration.

"Ames, how sure are you?"

"I'm not at all. I just had an inkling this morning because I felt nauseous."