Over the summer of 2015 I witnessed a lot of misled understanding and less than logical, let alone accurate to the definition, portrayal of feminism. People who claim to be feminists seem to believe that feminism is something that it isn't, making them and actual feminists look stupid in front of the non-feminist/potential feminist crowd.
They don't hate feminism, they just don't understand it. I've taken the liberty to file together an assemblage of what feminism isn't, because apparently they think of it as an all-girls club, or something of that sort. Dig in.
Feminism is not a club in which girls join together and grow body hair and not wear a bra.
Feminism is far, far deeper than just growing out armpit and leg hair (it's okay to shave, ladies. Not shaving doesn't mean you're not a real feminist. Appearance does not matter. Still, it's up to you. No one can tell you what to do.) Feminism is far, far deeper than freeing the nipple (again, still and always up to you. Flaunt 'em titties, babe.) Just because you have armpit hair doesn't mean you're a feminist. Just because you don't wear bras in public doesn't mean you're a feminist. Yes, liberation of the female body is vital in a society wherein a naked woman is shamed and a naked man is praised – that's probably the most standard sexist bullshit. Still, if that is your feminism, then you're a white feminist. Do not call yourself a feminist when that's all you think feminism is about and don't know the first thing about the injustices and oppression that all women go through each day.
Feminism is not about demeaning men.
Here's one thing you're going to want to know about feminism: it's not about hating men. If you didn't know that, then listen up. The main goal of the feminist movement is not to degrade men and make women look like the better sex, but to raise political, economical, and social equality between the two; it is about acquiring the same rights, chances and privileges that men have – things like proper chances of promotion at work and equal salary for equal work and being taken seriously about sexual harassment (because when a woman is r*ped, she is asked "what were you wearing?" instead of "how are you feeling?" And when a man is r*ped, practically no one gives a shit about it because they seem to think that all men want sex and cannot possibly sexually molested against his will.) Feminism is not women over men, feminism is women equals men. You want to hate men? Do it, but make sure that you do it for personal reasons and agendas, not because that's what you think feminism is (it's fucking not, I tell you.) As a feminist striving for equality between the sexes, here's what you need to not do: hurt men in any way – that includes physically, psychologically, mentally, and/or verbally; ignore the struggles faced by men because "they're the dominant gender anyway"; yell at men who – non-pervertedly – give you a compliment (take that praise, sis, you deserve it); tell men not to be nice to women (don't fight your brother for opening the door for you, he's just being a gentleman and a brother, he's not trying to tell you that you can't open the door by yourself, a woman. Although I don't know your brother, so I can't really speak on his may-or-may-not-be-sexist behalf); blame all men when upset due to the actions of certain men (because let's be real, not all men are misogynistic fuckwits who spend their time whistling sickly at attractive women, some of them are feminists, or at least trying their best to be). Equality between men and women is what you want, right? Then don't do to men, what you don't want men to do to you.
Feminism is not for cis, straight, well-brought up, physically capable, middle-aged women only.
Feminists can be of any gender. An Asian, Pacific Islander, Latin, or African-American woman can be a feminist. A lesbian woman can be a feminist. A transgender woman can be a feminist. A homeless women can be a feminist. A pornographic actress can be a feminist. A genderfluid woman can be a feminist. A 70-year-old women can be a feminist. A nine-year-old girl can be a feminist. A woman who doesn't have the ability to walk, see, talk, or hear can be a feminist. A woman with a mental disability can be a feminist. Anyone can be a feminist. Feminism can include a person of any racial origin, financial state, occupation, age, gender, sexual orientation, or incapability/capability. Do not exclude these women just because they don't look like your average feminist teen, which, as it turns out, has blonde hair, pale complexion, and blue eyes. You want equality? Then don't isolate the feminists whose beauty is not seen as beautiful by society.
Feminism is not feminine.
Many men think that being a feminist is going to make them seem effeminate, or "gay," whatsofuckingever that means. They say, "This world is sexist against women, right? I'm a man, so I couldn't possibly relate to what women go through." As a man, one cannot experience what such amounts coercion or maltreatment women from all around the world experience on a daily basis. Be that as it may, as a human being, the only thing one can do is look at all the injustices perpetrated against the female population caused by systematic sexism and misogyny, and then listen to what people in that demographic tell you about the matter. Empathise based on your common humanity, not your genitalia.
Feminism is not a trend.
Feminism is not a fashion trend. Feminism is not a pop culture trend. It's not any trend. Feminism is a movement for the bettering of the lives of women of all races, backgrounds, sexualities and socioeconomic standings. All you think that being a feminist is trendy and on-the-top just because you see it in everyone's social media biographies. You can't just be putting that shit on your Twitter bio when you don't even talk about female oppression and you retweet shit from the Meninist account (do not get me started with this meninist shit.) Also, don't be putting the word feminist on your t-shirts when you don't think catcalls are offensive, but think of it as flattering. Feminism is not a trend, don't make it out to be. This is why so many people still don't think us feminists in a serious fashion.
Feminism is not about not being traditional.
While it is true that we all should take part in destroying gender-specific stereotypes, conventional expectations, and gender roles, a feminist woman should not change what she wants just because she is a feminist. A woman can be a feminist and still want to be a housewife and cook pancakes for her husband and children and just stay at home, both at the same time. Doing so does not make you any less of a feminist, or a woman for that matter; it's what you want, and you should do whatever makes you happy. Being a stay-at-home wife does not mean you don't have self-respect because "all you do is just sit at home and wait for your husband to come home", for a.) there is nothing wrong about doing things that make you feel positive and happy about life and yourself, and b.) no one is in position to tell you what and what doesn't qualify as self-respect. As long as you being a housewife doesn't make you feel like you are less of a woman, then go on – be as much of a housewife as you can. Don't be listening to what these other so-called feminists tell you, as long as you are being true to your feminist self, then be a bad bitch and get on that housewife grind.
That being said, here is what feminism is: feminism is for women and men whose some qualities and experiences in life are being shamed because it is not masculine. Feminism is for all people of all sexualities, races, beliefs, and backgrounds. Feminism is an idea, an attitude, and a movement. Feminism is something to be proud of. Own it. Do it. Be it.
