The Abduction of Stephanie

Chapter 15

Agnes rummages through the vanity in Helen’s room, looking for makeup. Yes, the one and only Agnes Bumgarner finally gives a shit about her appearance. No longer would she be bullied again. No more torture from people like Stephanie or any of the other members of the blonde wolf pack. No more standing by while the Melody’s kiss the Billy’s of the world. As of today frump girl is gone. Tomorrow morning there will be a new girl at Prince High, a new girl with confidence and sex appeal. Things are about to change.

Agnes puts on the radio on and dances in the mirror while Madonna’s material girl echoes through the room. She sifts through Stephanie’s belongings trying to find something to wear, but nothing she has will fit the much smaller Agnes. Agnes runs to the basement, ignoring the whimpering Stephanie and grabs the pair of scissors Ray has placed on the workbench. She runs back up the stairs so fast she is practically flying and returns to Helen’s room. She looks at what she has to work with. Stephanie’s gym bag is filled with all kinds of things. There is a cheerleader outfit, a wrinkled black dress, a halter-top, a pair of jeans, a black skirt, pink hooded sweatshirt, bras and several pairs of thong underwear. She puts each item out on the bed in front of her contemplating what to do.

Agnes cuts and trims all of clothes. First she makes the dress short enough for her. Then she cuts the jeans turning them into shorts. She also shortens the cheerleader outfit. With Stephanie gone, the school is going to need a new head cheerleader, and Melody just won’t do. Agnes really has no desire to be a cheerleader and couldn’t care less about stupid barbaric sports like football but she is willing to do whatever it takes to stop being picked on.

Agnes takes off her glasses and runs a comb through the frumpy mess on her head. The comb practically gets stuck in her hair. She takes the scissors and snips a bit of her hair off. This isn’t going to work. Agnes pauses the reformation process for a bit and walks down the street to a nearby hairdresser. The place is small with only six chairs and even less employees. Agnes can see a girl that is covered in tattoos and has a ring through her lip. Her blonde hair is tied atop of her head with a few strands hanging down. She is tinting an old woman’s hair. Agnes steps up to the front desk and asks for a haircut. “We have a code twenty-one yells a flamboyant young man with perfect spiky hair and blonde highlights infused throughout his originally brown hair. “What’s a code twenty-one?” asks Agnes. “Honey, you are a code twenty-one. Now come with me.”

The girl with the tattoos leaves the old woman under a heater and runs over towards Agnes and her gay boss. A brunette that talks like Kit from Pretty Woman joins them and says “Holy shit. Looks like somebody got up on the wrong side of the planet.” The other hairdressers can’t hold in their chuckles. The gay guy, Charlie, says “Ok girls, let’s see if we can work a miracle.” The girl with the lip ring, Brooke, tries to run a comb through Agnes’s hair but the comb gets stuck. The Kit voice lady takes a pair of scissors and tries trimming a bit off the top. The scissors get stuck too. “C’mon ladies. We have to work together here.” “I have an idea says the Kit voice lady.” She runs across the street to her home and returns with a pair of hedge clippers.

The ornament normally used to do a little landscaping works to perfection. Two hours later her hair is straightened to perfection and the people at the salon have even added a streak of red to give it a little more definition. The employees spend another hour grooming her, cutting her nails, shaving her legs, painting her nails, and even include a cucumber facial. Just one more thing says Charlie, leading her to a nearby table. “Lie down on your back. Good. Now think of rainbows and unicorns.” The two girls apply hot wax to something that looks tape and place in on her bikini area. Together they quickly rip it off and Agnes screams in pain.  “All done. C’est tres magnifique” says Charlie mimicking a Frenchman. “Now you are beautiful.”

Agnes returns home with a smile on her face, feeling refreshed, feeling alive. Her hair is no longer a tangled mess and she has even ditched her eyeglasses for contact lenses. She loves her long ravenous hair and for the first time in her life she feels attractive. She applies ruby red lip-gloss, along with some other elements of face décor, mascara, blush, eyeliner, eye shadow, and even applies some of her mother’s Chanel No. 5. She smells delicious. “Boys won’t ignore me now.” She puts on a push up bra, thong panties and the black dress. It fits snugly around her body and is cut short to tease the boys.

The dress hangs on her chest just low enough to reveal plenty of newly found cleavage the push up bra allows her too. She slips into a pair of stilettos, which make her about four inches taller. She stares at the reflection in the mirror. “Stephanie Saunders eat your heart out. There’s a new queen bee in town. Who knew being beautiful could be so much fun?”

“You look beautiful dear.” Agnes can see Helen standing behind her reflection in the mirror. “I’ve always told you that you were beautiful. I never understood why you hid it from the world. I would give anything to be young and beautiful again.” “Mom, looks aren’t everything.” “That’s true sweetheart but if you’ve got it flaunt it.” “Mom, stop, this is getting too weird.” “Do you need anything sweetheart, a snack? My credit card? Some condoms?” “Mom! Eww.” “All I’m saying sweetheart is that I love you and you are gorgeous, now more than ever.” “Mom get out of here.”

Agnes stares at the image in the mirror just a little bit longer. She still can’t believe she is the girl in the reflection. She is no longer an ugly duckling; she is a beautiful swan, a beautiful swan that will not be going to the prom alone, just like her favorite teacher Miss Andrea Simpson.

Agnes feels like a transformer but instead of turning into a truck or a car, she has become a beautiful young woman. She makes duck lips in the mirror, kind of tacky but all the other kids are doing it. “Remember that when you end up in a hospital bed from a cocaine overdose,” Agnes giggles to herself. She applies just a little more lip-gloss, borrows a pair of her mom’s hoop earrings, and puts a necklace shaped like a crucifix around her neck. The cross itself is silver but red crystals are also spread out amongst it. She smacks her lips together. “Goodbye Agnes Bumgarner. Hello Raven.”