You Make My Dreams

Chapter 7

I know I'm late with the tours and whatever, but I'm just going to start the tours how they always do, in Florida.

Alyssa:

I couldn't sleep at all last night. I had dreams that would haunt you for days or years. It was so bizarre to me. It seemed so real. It seemed like it was telling me-- no warning me about something.

I just dropped the kids off at mum's. What am I going to do all day? Harry was still touring the last part of the American Tour. I entered our home. It sounded so weird to me still. Our home. We lived and got married together. Our home. Though it was Harry's, I moved in. It never seemed like home though, until you come trudging in from a long trip wanting to lay in your own bed. But when you live here day to day, you open the door to an open life of the Styles. You can see how we live. How we function. How we love. It was never a home to me. It was a show of my life.

I unlocked and opened the door. The house was a mess. Toys and crayons everywhere. Cayden left his unfinished pizza on the floor in front of the TV. Gemma left her Play-Doh out on the dining table. I sighed and cleaned up a bit. Cleaning helped me calm down for some reason. It just did. I walked over to the kitchen and there on the fridge was a picture of Harry kissing me cheek on our trip to Paris. I was smiling widely. Eyes closed and my smile reached ear to ear. I loved him. I missed him.

Tears formed in my eyes. I can't do this anymore. I can't. I ran upstairs and threw myself on my bed. I bawled onto his pillow. His scent made me bawl even more. It was him. I missed him. I missed my husband, Harry. I started to think how he would do various random visits just to see me and the kids. And I really wish this was one of those times. All day I laid in bed sniffling and wiping away my tears. Everything I did or looked at reminded me of Harry. My eyelids became heavier with every tear that poured out onto my face. I was gone after 4 hours of sobbing.

"Alyssa." I heard my name, though I saw no one. Or I thought.

They had called my name out again, repeatedly. They screamed it and my body was shaken. I shot up gasping for air. I coughed trying to catch my breath. My eyes will still filled with nothing. Black. I felt my body shaking. My hand were trembling, grasping onto something familiar. It was his hand. Harry's hand. I began to cry more, but they were tears of joy and the feeling of safety. He was home. He held me tight. But I woke up.

I've never had such a bizzare thing happen to me in a dream. I never ended up trembling after waking. I never felt such darkness in my eyes. I never felt Harry's security like that before, until this dream. 

The boys got ready for the first concert by doing sound checks. I stayed backstage while Gemma and Cayden ran around the stage, intruding with their time. I sat down on a couch thinking about what had happened last night. I haven't planned to tell anyone or wanted to. I didn't want people to worry about me. I didn't even want to worry about me. I sat there for hours that it only had felt like a minute. The concert had finished and the boys have all started to get ready to leave. 

"Babe, you alright?" Harry came over to me, wiping his sweat away with a rag.

"What?" 

"Are you okay? You look pale and sick." He sat down next to me. 

"Yeah. I'm okay." I smiled unsurely, leaning my head onto his shoulder. 

Gemma had passed out on Louis's lap. He carried her out to the car and stayed there with her. Niall and Cayden had gone around to find some food. Zayn and Rania were just somewhere. And then there was Harry and I.