FIGHT

Chapter 19

I place the empty glass of wine on the table, rubbing my forehead as I try to focus my gaze on the manuscript in front of me. I've gone through three full glasses, but the words still haven't left my mind. They continue to repeat over and over like a broken record.

"People can change. If they meet someone who makes them want to be a better person, they'll change."

Despite the cloudiness in my mind, those words are clear as day. I pour myself another glass of the bitter wine, filling it to the rim of the cup. People always talk about how alcohol makes them forgetful; that's what I need right now. I need to forget about Holden and our fight and everything Jack said that's making me question my decision.

I miss Holden so much it hurts.

My hands push away the manuscript; my head is too mixed up to think straight. Between the alcohol and my feelings for Holden, focusing isn't even an option. His face passes through my mind; Holden's cheeks stained with tears as he explains himself.

He doesn't want this fight, I know that. I just don't know why he's going through with it anyway. Especially when he knows how wrong it is.

"I've never wanted to be better for anyone, but I can't help but try and be better for you."

I guzzle down the tart liquid as Holden's words replay in my mind. Nothing I know about Holden suggests he ever needed to be better. Not until I learned the details of his impending match, that is.

I'm just so angry at him. And I'm angry that I miss him.

He lied to me and he hid things from me. I feel betrayed. After everything I told him about myself and my past, he intentionally kept me away from certain things. I still don't have an explanation for why he won't drop out of the fight.

"Please don't leave. I need you, Tatum."

Those words reverberate around my mind and before I know it, I'm stumbling around the room to find some pants. I know I shouldn't leave in this big t-shirt, but I can't bring myself to part with the soft fabric Holden gifted to me. It's harder than normal for me to find pants, so I settle for leggings in my slightly inebriated state.

I'm going to go have a little talk with Holden.

Seeing him earlier today twisted something in me. I thought I was getting better; the training got my mind off of him for a while. In reality, I just shoved everything to the back of my brain to deal with later.

Well, later is now.

I slip on some flats before haphazardly grabbing my purse and thrusting myself out the door. It's not too late, I'll be able to get a cab. Even if I can't, I'm pretty positive I could find Holden's apartment. The big gym is hard to miss, even with a cloudy mind.

My feet stand on the edge of the curb as I wildly wave my arms around, trying to catch any cabbie's attention. I get weird looks from people walking on the streets, but I pay them no mind. I'm on a mission now.

Finally, one of the yellow cars stops near me and I almost trip over myself before sliding into the back.

"Where to?"

My head hurts as I try to remember the exact address, "1387 Harker Dr., I think. It's a big gym owned by Holden Samuels." A giggle slips from my mouth and I slap my hand on my face to cover the sound. I don't know what's so funny, but I think it has to do with the shocked look the cab driver gives me.

Regardless of his surprise, he pulls back out into the lively night of New York. I've always been a city girl, but something about tonight just has me wired. I can't help but gaze through the window at all the people in ridiculous outfits and all the buildings with bright lights shining.