Chapter Thirty Nine:
Goodbye:
~Danielle~
The night I had thought Ryan left me, I asked him to spend the night. I was scared about being me alone now, and the night was the worse. I would be alone all night and I didn’t want that.
He readily agreed. So did his dad and my parents. I guess when you’re on your death bed people want to make you happy. We set up a bed on the floor of my room, but he has yet to use it.
Everyday he’s told me that I would make it to his birthday. Before today, I didn’t believe him. Today is the day before his birthday, I know I will make it. Only a couple more hours left.
“So how is living with Ryan?” Diane asked. Her and Nicole were over. I had seen them almost every day. They came over for at least an hour after school each day, and on weekends they would come over as well. But I hadn’t actually been close to them for a while. We’d been drifting apart.
It wasn’t something I had wanted to ever happen, but I hate that they have to see me in the state I’m in. I know it’s good to see them as many times as I can, but now instead of their smiling faces, more and more often I am seeing looks of sadness and pity.
I email Anna, Jenny and Nolan as many times as I can. Even if they don’t get the chance to email back, I email them. It’s hard to see them often since none of them can drive and Anna and Jenny have dance a lot, but we still make is possible on the weekends.
Besides, with email, I don’t have to see their sad faces.
“Di, that’s not just something you can just ask,” Nicole said smacking her arm.
“Ow! Sor-ry, but I wanted to know,” she said rubbing the spot Nicole had hit her.
“Yeah I know, same here. So spill,” Nicole said leaning forwards on her elbows.
I shrugged. “We’re not really living together. He goes home for dinner and clothes each day.”
“Oh come on! You two are totally living together! What’s it like?” Diane said bumping her shoulder lightly to mine. A lot lighter than what she had a couple of months earlier.
“It’s nice knowing he’s always with me. I love waking up next to him and knowing he hadn’t left me.”
“Danielle, he’ll never leave you. The boy is helplessly in love with you!” Nicole said with a laugh. I hadn’t told them about that day Ryan did leave me. Even if it was in anger and only for an hour or so.
“Yeah where can I get one of those?” Diane asked.
“Next to the puppies at the pet store,” I joked. Abu heard puppy and jumped up onto my lap. When I had first got him I had always been calling him puppy. It’s a wonder that he actually knows what his name is.
“Oh I know where I’m going tomorrow!” Diane said.
“They’re a lot of work. You have to train them and give them the attention they crave. Plus you have to give them rewards or they get mad at you,” I said. Diane had never really had an actually boyfriend. I hadn’t either until I started dating Ryan.
“Oh I could definitely give them rewards and attention.”
“Yeah you would turn into a stalker,” Nicole said.
“I would not!” Diane thought about it. “Okay maybe you’re right but that’s not the point!” she pouted crossing her arms over her chest.
“So what are you getting him for his birthday?” Nicole questioned.
“I have no idea. I want to give him something that will remind him of me, that won’t be useless and can’t be used for him to make new memories. That’s why I gave him to pictures at Christmas. I gave him my memories.”
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