Getting Over Matt

29 - "Sorry I'm late."

Chapter 29 - "Sorry I'm late."

The rain continued over the next few days. How I hated living in England. I bet the weather was nicer in Italy... Pretty much all of my thoughts recently involved Nathan. Where was he? What was he doing? Was he missing me as much as I was missing him? I never thought I'd be able to miss a person this much; my life was suddenly feeling so mundane, lacking the excitement that Nathan often brought to it.  

In an attempt to distract myself, I'd rung Jess to arrange another shopping trip but she had already made plans with Alex. I bit the bullet and went alone. If I continued to sit in the house then I'd only carry on obsessing over Nathan's absence. I told myself that, instead, I'd devote my attention to buying a new outfit for Nathan to see me in upon his return.  

The shopping centre was heaving with people, which didn't exactly make it a pleasant experience. Usually I enjoyed going by myself but, when you could barely move through a shop, it wasn't anywhere near as entertaining. What should have been a fun task of finding a nice outfit quickly turned into a tedious ordeal. Just as I was about to give it up as a bad job, my day got even worse.  

I'd rounded a corner, busy staring at my phone as I typed out a message to Jess, when I collided into someone. My phone flew out of my hand but just as I was about to gasp an apology at whoever I'd bumped into, I realised who it was.  

"Sorry," Matt apologised, bending down to pick up my phone. He passed it over to me, smiling apologetically.  

I forgot how to form words as I took it from his out-stretched hand. Even though I'd seen him at school a lot, it was the first time we'd properly interacted since the break-up.

"Um, thanks," I mumbled eventually. "I wasn't looking where I was going." 

"So...how's things?" he asked, shoving his hands into his pockets and rocking backwards and forwards. It was something he'd always done whilst anxious or uncomfortable. Who'd have thought that the two of us would ever feel this awkward around one another, though?  

I shuffled uncomfortably. I really didn't want to be having this conversation. Despite my strong feelings for Nathan, Matt would always have a small part of me, no matter how much of a dick he'd been.  

"They're good," I said, trying to think of excuses to get myself out of this situation. "How about you?" 

He shrugged. "All right, I guess." 

"Good...cool..." I stuttered.  

Matt seemed intent on prolonging the conversation, though; he couldn't have been oblivious to my unease, but maybe that was why he so desperately wanted to form a stronger dialogue between us.  

"I just can't wait for uni to be honest," he said, giving me a small smile.  

I briefly wondered if he'd be breaking up with Lucy before uni. After all, he said long distance never works. Even though I knew it shouldn't bother me, I couldn't help but feel that it would be a real kick in the teeth if they ended up staying together and doing long distance.  

"Yeah," I agreed, even though I was in no hurry to go to uni. I much preferred being able to see Nathan every day at school. "I just want exams to be over." 

"Tell me about it..." he murmured.  

Why couldn't I think of an escape? I stood there lamely, passing my phone from hand to hand. The two of us used to be so comfortable together and now we could hardly bear to look at each other. It was horrible; I'd never wanted to be like this with Matt. On the same note, though, I'd never imagined him cheating on me.