Getting Over Matt

18 - "I want to be used."

Chapter 18 - "I want to be used."

I wanted to look nice for Nathan, but I didn't want to give off the wrong impression. After Jess had pointed it out to me, I found myself analysing the way I acted around him. Would this be considered too friendly or did that suggest I fancied him? 

Nathan had also refused to tell me which restaurant we were going to and so I didn't know how formal to dress. Eventually, after much deliberation, I'd settled on a plain grey skirt with a figure-hugging sweater. I then slid on some shoes before beginning the painful decision-making process of what to do with my hair. Nathan had said this morning that I shouldn't feel sorry for myself; I should make Matt realise what he was missing out on. Matt obviously wouldn't be at the restaurant, but that didn't mean I shouldn't make an effort. I straightened my hair, topped up my make-up and then grabbed a bag before heading downstairs. 

"You look nice," Mum commented as I passed through the living room. "Is Matt taking you out?" 

My stomach sank and the familiar feeling of nausea rose within me whenever someone brought up Matt. I hadn't told my parents. I knew they secretly thought Matt didn't treat me well enough, but I'd always defended him. I could barely bring myself to admit what he'd done. 

"No," I said, trying to keep my voice calm. "We're not together anymore. Nathan's taking me out. I'll be back by ten. See you later." 

"Wait!" she called, following me to the door. "What do you mean you're not together?" 

"We broke up, Mum," I mumbled. "I don't really want to talk about it." 

"Was it because of this new boy you've been seeing recently?" she asked, frowning slightly. "What's his name? Nathan?" 

"No, it was nothing to do with Nathan," I told her with a scowl. "He's just a friend and he's really helping me through this." 

Mum sighed and stroked my cheek. Even though I knew she was trying to be affectionate and comforting, it still felt like pity. I was so tired of pity.

"Why did you break up, Sweetie? Don't you want to talk about it?" 

I shook my head. "No. I really don't." 

"So are you going out with this Nathan to get back at Matt?" 

"No." I recoiled from her touch, partially offended. "We're going out as friends. As if you think I'd move on so quickly, Mum. I really liked Matt; you know that." 

The doorbell rang and since I was nearest, I reached to open the door, thankful for the interruption. When my eyes landed on Nathan, my heart skipped a beat in surprise. I hadn't expected him to have the guts to come to my front door when he knew my mother was in. There he was, however, looking as calm and collected as always.  

"Nathan... Um, this is my mum. Mum, this is Nathan." 

"It's nice to meet you." Nathan flashed Mum a charming smile as he held out his hand to her.

Mum looked dazed as she shook his hand. He did look dashing, admittedly, but this wouldn't help my case that we were only friends. 

"It's lovely to meet you, too. Would you like to come in for a bit?" she offered, gesturing towards the living room.  

"Actually, Mum, the table is booked for seven thirty so we should be going," I told her quickly, reaching to pull my coat off the peg from which it hung by the front door.  

"It's booked for eight, Bella," Nathan said, which I could have murdered him for. Did he want to be interrogated? "I didn't expect you to be ready for seven so I booked it for later, just in case."