CHAPTER EIGHT
“Yi Shuan.”
“Yi-Yi Shuan?”
“Yes. I admit, she’s the best thing that ever happened to me before. I didn’t know how to love until she came. My love for her only faded when Ericka came. It was 1 year from now. I was a senior when I met her.”
“You didn’t love anyone aside from her before?” Ann asked him.
“Yes. I didn’t.” That made her smile. He really did love her. Maybe she can forgive him now.
“If Yi Shuan was me, for example. What are the words you want to say to her?” Ann suddenly asked him.
He look deep in her eyes. Act like she is really Yi Shuan. Then said, “Yi Shuan, If only I didn’t had that bet thing on you. I was wrong in participating on that bet. Yi Shuan, please forgive me. Give me another chance. I loved you. If you only knew how much I suffered. You know even the thickest flower can die, but my love for you never fades. So, if we do meet again, give me another chance. Another chance for me to show how much I care. How much I miss you. Come back to me, Yi Shuan. Come back.” He said while tears run down on his cheeks. He didn’t care if it’s embarrassing. All he wants now, is Yi Shuan’s forgiveness.
“You really do love her.” Ann said as she wipe the tears on his cheeks.
“You know, I you really love Ericka, set her free. Find a new one. The one whom you can trust and love forever. The one who will not be jealous of other girls because they trust you. Find someone whom you call yours. Find someone who will love you for you, not for you fame and money. James, I’m telling you. Find someone.” Ann said as she look at his eyes. It was visible in her eyes that she is the ‘someone’ she was saying.
“I can’t, Ann. I love her too much for me to let go.”
“If you want to admire the rainbow after the rain, then, why don’t you love again after the pain?” Ann asked. After some moments, he began to think.
“Is that yours? Or just a quotation?” James said as he began to laugh.
“I’m serious, James. How can you be that way? No wonder Ericka broke up with you.” Ann said in a piss voice.
“Ann –“ But he was not able to continue when Ann suddenly ran.
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“How can he be so conceited? Again, and again. I always have to be like this. Crying. How can I fall in love with him again? because of those words he said a while go, it made me fall in love again.” Ann said as she cried.
“Ann?” It was James. Ann was sitting on the swing in their veranda. Ann was crying too.
“.....”
“Ann, talk to me please. Wait, are you crying?” James ask as he tried to look at her face.
“How can falling in love be like this? All I feel is hurt. Nothing more, nothing less. They said you can feel happiness, inspiration. But why do I feel like this? I’m hurt too much James. Truly hurt here.” Ann said as she began to point her heart.
“It hurts so much, James. Can he love me again like he did before? Can I bring back the past for him to love me again? Am I too naive this time, that he can’t afford to love me again? Am I not enough for him to leave her?”
“How can I be happy around the press, if in my heart, I’m totally broken? How long will I act? I love him, her loves her. I’m just a simple friend to him. How long will I wait for him to love me? When I don’t love him anymore? When?” Ann cried more.
“Waiting for someone you love is never easy. You should understand that, Ann.” James adviced to her as he run his fingers through her hair.
“Understand? You want me to understand that stupid wait? I tried to understand him before. How can he love me when I already know his secret? How can he realize it when I’m gone?”
“Why is he so focus on her? She isn’t enough for him. He’s too much for her. When will he love me again?”
“Maybe he’s just focused on other girls. But maybe some day he’ll take a quick glance at your whole personality and he’ll love you back. Just wait, Ann.”
“Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Didn’t I wait enough? I want to give up. I’m too tired of crying. All I want is to forget the past. Forget everything. Everything! But it’s too hard, I can’t!”
“Don’t stop trying. Nothing’s really over the moment you stop trying.” James encouraged her once again. But this time, he began to hugged her.
“Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is like being 50-50 comatosed in a hospital. Comfortably lying but unconsciously breathing, softly sleeping but silently hurting, continuously breathing but slowly dying. I’m slowly dying, James. It hurts so much. The pain, it’s killing me” Ann cried louder. It was true. She’s hurting enough. She’s too weak to fight for her feelings.
“I love you, James. I love you.” Ann whispered.
“Ann?” James said. But, no answer.
“She’s asleep.” James said as he laugh. He carried her towards their bed and sat on the couch.
“Did Ann just said that she love me? James, no, she didn’t. Don’t expect. You love Ericka, right? You don’t love Ann. There’s only two girls whom you love so much. That’s Ericka and Yi Shuan. Don’t include Ann. And in every sentence she is just saying ‘he’ and ‘him’. How can she say that she love me? Stop dreaming James.” James thought.
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“Love. Love. Love. There’s a place for that. Wait for the time that you’ll find someone who is worth your love. Wait for someone who’ll give you happiness and trust.” Their instructor said.
“Why is our topic all about love?” Ann asked them.
“Because, we all need it.”
“Well, I don’t.” Ann was about to stand when James held her hand.
“Stay.”
“Okay. Stop does lovey dovey of yours. Let’s proceed.” Their instructor said. Other’s began to tease them again, while the two just smiled.
“Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. People never know how special someone is until they leave, but maybe sometimes its important to leave, so they are given that chance to see how special that someone really is. And sometimes we must understood that NOTHING LAST FOREVER. Well, not until, you’ll find the right one for you.”
“So, even relationships never last even though you two loves each other?” One asked their instructor.
“Yes. Sometimes, words can end a relationship with goodbye. So, be careful on your words.”
“But why do we need to know all of this?” Ericka ask.
“It’ll be one of your duties to know this.”
