Chapter Twenty-Four

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I was fully capable of going up the stairs and into bed by myself, and Cam knew this. But that didn't stop him from sweeping me into his arms, whilst flitting up the stairs and into my room. It took around a second.

Cam faced away from me whilst I changed- always the gentleman. I was glad that I didn't have to ask him to do that, because I knew that in doing that, my cheeks would flame red, and the words would trip over themselves, tumbling out of my mouth. Knowing this, I also knew that if I were to actually change in front of him, I would probably spontaneously combust. I knew I wasn't ready for that level yet, but so did Cam, and he respected that. He was subtle about it, too. He made it so that I was never embarrassed. That was something I loved about him. It worried me, though. What if he was so good at this, because he had a lot of practise? He's been alive for a while now, so none of this could have been new to him. But I also felt that he just knew me, and that was why he got everything right. I was hoping that it was the latter.

Soon enough, I was physically prepared for bed. Mentally, however, I was both exhausted and wired. My mind wouldn't stop whirring. I suppose that that was expected, considering what had happened. The stress was still finding its way under my skin. It still slithered through my veins to my heart, like a bloodthirsty snake. And I could feel it constricting my heart. And my lungs. I hadn't been able to breathe properly since the rock had flown into the window. I knew that this was what a panic attack felt like- I'd suffered from anxiety from a young age. I'd managed to learn to keep myself in control whilst having a panic attack. But this had never been put to test in the arms of Cam, and I realised now, that it was a whole other level. I didn't want his arms around me- I didn't even want him touching me. It felt constricting, and suddenly I realised that I wasn't in control if the panic attack.

My lungs felt like they were shrinking, and I could only fill them up to about a quarter of the way. Every breath was on the precipice of not being enough or being just about enough. I couldn't think about anything else, and every time I took a breath, it would be a deep breath, but it wouldn't do anything. And then I couldn't even take deep breaths, because it felt as if any change in anything would break my concentration, and the breath I was taking would be swept away.

"Anna?!" came Cam's worried voice. I felt his cool hand stroke alone my temple. Surprisingly, that did seem to help.

"P-panic... attack" I managed to gasp. I expected him to do some medical exercise or something professional that would ease the panic attack.

Instead, he kissed me.

His lips on mine were all I could think about- how strong and passionate his kiss was; how cold and stone-like his lips were; how he gently caressed the side of my face, running an ice cold finger gently down my cheek. My panic attack seemed to be over, but I couldn't be sure, because I hadn't actually taken a breath yet to test.

I threw my arms around his neck, revelling in the way his back and his shoulders felt so strong and muscled under his top. I lifted my left hand to tangle my fingers in his hair, which was surprisingly soft. I tried to pull him even closer, but my slayer strength didn't really do much against his vampiric strength. But he knew what I was trying to do, so he moved closer by himself, wrapping his arm around my waist, and holding me to his body. I didn't really notice the movement, but suddenly, we were on the bed, and I was lying atop his body. It felt like I was lying on top of a moving statue- but somehow, it was comfortable.

In a moment of bravery, I lifted my trembling fingers to the buttons on his too. Clumsily, I attempted to undo the first one, but a pair of cold hands stopped me. He held my hands gently- carefully; as if they were made of glass. He lifted his head to my ear and placed a few gentle kisses on my neck, before bringing his lips to my earlobe.

"Sleep. You're tired." He whispered, though he couldn't hide how breathless and husky his voice sounded. I affected him! I felt strangely proud of myself- me, an average, boring, pale teenage girl, affecting him- perfection incarnate- a greek God of beauty.

But he was right. I was exhausted, and I really did need to be at my best by tomorrow. But instead of rolling me off of him and placing me on a pillow, he circled his arms around me, and began stroking my hair, humming a sweet lullaby softly into my ear. I fell asleep within seconds.

I was awoken by the piercing shrieking of my alarm clock- something that I had begun to detest over the past few days. But that morning, I was perfectly content. I was waking up in the arms of the man that I loved, and who loved me, and having him absent for the past couple of days had taught me to appreciate him more. Therefore, I was elated to feel his arms wrapped around me, and to feel his chest rising and falling with his breaths as my head lay on the spot where his heart would have beaten, had he been a human.

Suddenly, I remembered everything that had happened with Kim, and our plans for the days. Instantly, my mood dropped, and guilt forced its way into my mind. I had been perfectly content, thinking about my... well, 'boyfriend' didn't sound quite right, but until they invented a new word, it would have to do.
I had practically forgotten about her altogether, which was terrible of me. I let the guilt take over as I rose from my position on Cam's shoulder.

"I actually thought that you may have slept through that alarm. You were shattered last night." He uttered quietly in my ear. I gave him a small smile, but it was forced- a fact that, apparently, was very obvious.

"Hey," Cam said, grabbing my wrist before I could get off the bed. His hands, though inhumanly strong, were soft and gentle around my wrists, telling me that with the slightest tug, he would let go. But I didn't want to miss any of his touch, ever again.

"I'm sorry, Cam. I'm just worried, I guess. Everything is just so messed up, and I don't know what to do." I said, leaning back into him. He folded me back into his arms, and rhythmically began gliding his hands through my hair. Instantly, I was relaxed, but that didn't exactly mean that I was calm. Thoughts and worries were still running chaotically through my mind, frying my brain second by second.

"C'mon." Cam said, lifting me off the bed and into his arms. "Let's get ready to go and save your friend." He said. He sounded so confident.

I just hoped that his confidence wasn't wrongly placed.

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