just another phan oneshot book

what the heckarino is this

Title: lol what just happened

Genre: slightly crack-ish/humor?

Warnings: kinks and weirdness

Words: ~500

A/N: its 12:30 and I saw this prompt on phanfic's tumblr and just shit on it and this was created. nice mental image there. enjoy?

I slowly open the door to a dim apartment. All the lights were off, very unusual. The only light there was is the light filtering in from the sun low in the sky. I began walking towards the lounge.

I wasn't supposed to get home until tomorrow afternoon, but I left earlier. I really wanted to surprise Dan. I knew that he got lonely easily and that he was slightly dependent on me. Surprising him by coming home early sounded like a nice thing to do.

I walk quietly into the lounge, where Dan is seated on the sofa. He is on his laptop, watching a video that I didn't pay much attention to. I crept up slowly behind him, smiling widely at how freaked out he'll be. I reached out to him and ran my fingers down his neck. My expression changed when he let out a loud whimper-y moan. I stepped back, wide-eyed as he ripped out his headphones and turned around quickly, his face displaying his mortification. "What the fuck?!"

"...Hi?" I look down and see that he was not wearing any pants and there was a very obvious bulge in his  boxers. Oh.

He quickly grabs a pillow to cover himself and continues to shout at me. "You can't just sneak up behind me like that! This could have been so much worse! If you were just a few minutes later..." He made a horrified face. I don't know why, what made me do it, probably the ridiculousness of this situation, but I started laughing. I laughed so hard I had to sit down on the sofa beside Dan. Soon he started to giggle too, and then we were both in laughing fits, collapsing atop each other.

A minute later after we had calmed down, he looked up at me from where his head was in my lap and said, "Why are you home anyways?"

I scoffed, "Thanks for being so happy I'm back! I feel very loved."

He chuckled and said, "You knew what I meant, you spoon."

I looked down at him. His eyes were shining in the dim light that was coming from the quickly setting sun in the window. I began running my fingers through his hair and said, "I wanted to surprise you."

"Well it was definitely a surprise," he said humorously. I look over to his laptop where the video was still playing. I quickly look away after seeing what was on the screen. He quickly shuts the lid and hit my chest. "Don't look at my leftover shame."

"Your leftover shame is pretty kinky to be honest," I said teasingly. I didn't see much of what was going on, but I did get a glimpse of what looked like two men and a lot of lace.

"Don't kinkshame me, Philip Lester. Yours are probably weirder than mine," Dan retorted.

"What can I say? I'm a slut for bondage and pain."

"That's hot." Dan smiled and I chuckled and hit his arm. What even was happening right now.

"Did you actually just tell me that you're into bdsm?"

"I think I need more sleep."

"Same."

i don't know bye. ending is me bc what am i doing i need sleep